i'm dating a gangster's moll, her with her new & fashionable red hair. i've been saying all along she's got a conversation candy heart sewn inside her. she came home today to find a pair of bodies stuffed into the bathtub. "you murdered the landlord & the superintendent!" she accused me. "naw," said i, "they committed suicide." "how did they commit suicide when they've been shot in the back of the head?" she asked. "they committed suicide when they fucked with mordicai schadenfreude!" i shouted at her. she told me i was going to hell, so i drew my pistol & told her to save me a place before i shot her in the forehead.