anyhow, i've just been sensitive about it. i know impervious confidence when i'm lying or being cruel. i know how to boil frogs alive, slowly turning up the heat incriment by incriment. but i don't know anything about love. i do know about jealousy, though. & i know a whole lot about abandonment. so i'm touchy, okay? & she's been less than perfect in dealing with it. teasing me just ain't fun when the wounds still ache. i guess she's been acting secretive because of other reasons, but lines like "i'm not lying to you, i'm being evasive" just arn't helping any.
& it isn't like i think she's going to cheat on me. despite, you know, the corallaries of history. i guess if we're being entirely honest i'd have to admit that i do have this spook in my gut that she'll get drunk & act on some spur of the moment. oh spurs, how you & all your cowboy paraphinalia desert me when push comes to shove. mostly i'd just like some coddling to get me through this bitter jealousy.
i know i'm being petty. i've already won. i've got the girl & she's got me. & if the tables were turned, & i wanted to go visit cortney, then i'd be less than sympathetic to jenny's complaints (or at least, now i would be. who can say how i'd react in a vaccuum). its not like i've tried to "forbid" her, or set some stupid ultimatums. as childish as i usually am, i am not some retard. i might not have what most people would call emotions, but i've read books. i'm just sulking, & wish she'd come after me & say nice things to me.
while antonio was visiting, he brought up a reasonable point. if the transformers are supposed to be "robots in disguise," then what the fuck is up with grimlock & the other dinobots? what kind of "disguise" is a GIGANTIC ROBOTIC TYRANOSAURUS REX?