mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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childe mordicai to the dark tower came.

its june 12, 2009 & i'm sitting here in a corn field being pelted by rain & chasing fuck knows what. i keep getting these flashbacks to third grade, & mrs. budapest talking about antlion larvae. doodlebugs, she called them, but antlion was the name that stuck with me. how they'll bury themselves at the bottom of a pit & wait for prey. then she showed slides. to a gawking 7 year old who's primary intrests were science fiction, it resembled nothing so much as the sarlacc pit & the thing khan puts in chekov's brain to control his thoughts. well anyhow, thats what this thing looks like. it digests its prey from the inside out, too- i've seen that myself.

this guy i used to know told me that a gunslinger needs to resist six temptations. thinking too much about winning, getting too reliant on good technique, showing off for its own sake, showing off to intimidate your foe, being too reactive, & trying to avoid the previous temptations. sounds like so much samurai bullshit, but right now i'm figuring that number seven probably should have been the temptation to follow giant bloodsucking bugs into cornfields where there is zero visibility. i'd try to listen for the thing, but this fucking downpour makes hearing anything wishful thinking. the way i see it, my best bet is to use myself as bait & keep my eyes open for swaying stalks. a gunslinger accepts the inevitability of his own death so that he may bring death to others, or some such philosophical masturbation. i take comfort in the fact that miyamoto musashi showed up for duels hungover & unshaven. i guess i'm doing something right.

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