mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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so i've been having nightmares. woke up this morning to them unceasing. or fitfully, last night, on & off. sounds of rustling; there is a man at the foot of the bed who is cutting be between my ribs & drawing my lungs out. there are 1000 ghosts pounding on the window pane. when i wake up, there is still that sound of sheets moving against each other, coming from the foot of the bed. fucking great.

but kira told me that they just turned the heat on last night. that the banging & the wheezing are coming from the pipe that runs through jenny's room. that the sudden, drastic temperature change is what was making my breathing rough. so i am not a lunatic, or at least, not all the way. not yet. fingers crossed.

my girlfriend is pretty fucking unhappy that i got pointlessly drunk & passed out in bed yesterday. plan m is not without its hitches. did i really have a fucking plan? other than finishing my minor chore of dealing with the hospital requesting money. medicaid fucking pending, guys. was i thinking i would be sort of cute & drunk when she got home? maybe, maybe that was the plan. & maybe it was a dumb fucking plan.

today does have a plan. the revised plan m. today i will call lots of fuckers, & i will tell them "medicaid fucking pending, guys." then i will finish my new, slick, drag-racing resume, & post that one on okay. them is my plans for today. maybe i will write a cover letter for the geek mojo. maybe this hollow nervousness will settle the fuck out.

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