mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli
mordicai

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be my brother or i will kill you.

i'm always bearing this psychomachia, flesh at odds with my stiletto self. now i have even further alienation from my self, & i'm left wondering if nerves will grow back, or if perhaps its the swelling that makes my temple numb, my cheek lifeless. i figure yeah, but i can't help but consider that i might never get to fake my smile with the same flair. there is always that knife of possible disfigurement lurking in the shadows. & hey, maybe if i fall on the sidewalk, or sleep on the wrong side of the bed, my face will shatter like porcelin & we can all start from scratch!

my usual cure for these thoughts is: titanium. i mean, i always used people's metal joints & pacemakers are evidence for the subtle infiltration of cybernetics. how much weight does actually being a primitive cyborg lend to my opinions? this is my face. it is from the future. besides, my body digests scars like anyone's bussiness. before you know it i'll be feeling for rivets. the rivits in my bionic skull.

i wish i could buy a dvd of the surgery.

jenny & i played trivial pursuit, & as soon as she started winning she decided that we were playing strip trivial pursuit. i lost, which meant that i got tied up & she made me have anal sex with her. man, trivial pursuit is fucking awesome. i'm trying to figure out rules for strip risk. speaking of games: i am constantly frustrated by my dnd writing, then suddenly reassured whenever i accomplish something brilliant. right now, i sort of think that my life would be easier if i were less enchanted with the names of colours.
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