mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

  • Mood:
i was financially reckless moving here. then i got my head broken open, & all the kings horses & all the kings men were able to put it together, but it sure meant i couldn't bag a job. i even had an interview the day after my head was busted open, but what? i can't even mention it, it sounds like weak honey in water. the first in a chain of daisies, a litany of excuses.

& jenny's thrown in her lot with me, & that means that she's on the financial knife's edge, too. instead of talking to me about it she throws it all in my face. i'm left feeling like i'm a fish on land. so i struggle to get soldier. evolve or die. thrive or perish. i want to envelope the earth until the hunger of the hive of me chokes the world to ashes. so i pick evolve.

but i wish we could talk about this reasonably instead of her tossing pineapple grenade emails over at me. without her reading everything i say as an attack on her. without getting replies that say "i don't have the energy to deal with this right now" when i'm trying hard to be constructive & not draining.

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