my little sister: "dad is praying for you or whatever."
m: "don't be stupid, father doesn't pray."
if i wasn't having facial reconstructive surgery, i'd end up with a wicked lazy eye, like a luke skywalker to my father's darth vader. but i'm fucking darth malice. so thats done & no mistake about it. baba yaga i'm coming home. put on meatloaf's "bat out of hell" album, motherfuckers. also, what is this bullshit that "liquor" doesn't count as liquid food i am allowed to eat? i could be spending my days seriously tranced here. when the room starts spinning its the same as a prayer wheel to me. aum shiva motherfuckers. & by aum i mean "i'm".
mother: how is jenny?
m: oh, she's hot.
sister: how is jenny?
m: oh, she's hot.
jenny: stop telling your family i'm hot!
