mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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i see the devil & my heart breaks into a million pieces.

or: i am not convinced of the rightness of god's actions.

MKLemonMerchant: When do you move?
M caeli: mid aug.
M caeli: whut up?
MKLemonMerchant: I can be a night person now.
MKLemonMerchant: And I am enjoying that fact tremendously.
MKLemonMerchant: Fuck the daywalkers.
M caeli: truth. word is bond.
M caeli: i'm like, wrecked for my classes tommorow. i drank caffine.
M caeli: i am now drinking vodka. to counteract!
MKLemonMerchant: You could drink liquor to balance it out.
MKLemonMerchant: Great minds.
M caeli: & reading neil gaiman, because fuck everyone, i like him.
M caeli: yes! very great minds. geniuses!
MKLemonMerchant: I like the Sandman stuff. I'm not so sure about his literature.
MKLemonMerchant: No, the problem with Niel Gaiman is the same problem that Tori Amos and good wine have.
MKLemonMerchant: The stuff itself is good. The followers are shitty.
M caeli: yes. esp. tori. actually, man, i am putting her in. any album requests?
MKLemonMerchant: Little Earthquakes is still her best.
M caeli: gaiman's books are spotty. but i just read the wake, & i'm working on kindly ones? fucking great.
M caeli: i dunno if i agree with you
MKLemonMerchant: I find Under the Pink is more sleep-condusive, though.
M caeli: i put in pink. but like...i dunno. i like her alot. i forgot for a while.
M caeli: since i also find her so aggravating.
MKLemonMerchant: I still enjoy Little Earthquakes best, but I've also got heavy sentiment to go along with it.
MKLemonMerchant: Why aggravating?
M caeli: she reminds me of girls i used to date. really cool, but sometimes? jesus, shut the fuck up.
MKLemonMerchant: So what are you putting in?
M caeli: i put in under the pink.
MKLemonMerchant: Good call.
MKLemonMerchant: What kind of vodka?
M caeli: cheap!
M caeli: i like my vodka like i like my hookers.
M caeli: russian, & cheap. also, that they knock me out
MKLemonMerchant: Fair enough.
M caeli: how is you?
M caeli: give the gossip
M caeli: do you like younger girls? maybe you could seduce my sister in colombus.
M caeli: she's not so smart.
MKLemonMerchant: Younger is not sufficient to be alluring.
MKLemonMerchant: Besides, how would it be if I slept with your sister?
MKLemonMerchant: How old is she?
M caeli: 21 now.
M caeli: i don't care if you sleep with my sister.
M caeli: my motto on that is "i will not love more than i am forced to."

i am not forced to love my family. they are genetic coincidences.
MKLemonMerchant: Fine
MKLemonMerchant: Let me rephrase.
MKLemonMerchant: Why on earth would I want to sleep with her aside from possible humor value.
MKLemonMerchant: ?
M caeli: oh, she's hot.
M caeli: since maybe you like skinny girls now.
M caeli: i'd nail her if she was smart.
M caeli: & i was single.
MKLemonMerchant: Yeah, well, that may be the real clincher.
M caeli: which i'm not! i've got this girlfriend. sometimes i hate her alot but i never get to stop loving her. i love her all the time. i am prince sucker.
M caeli: yeah, man, fuck not being single! it means i can't bag my sister!
MKLemonMerchant: Go there.
MKLemonMerchant: This picture is called "Having Bath".
M caeli: fuck that, i'm not clicking that link.
MKLemonMerchant: Click it, f@g0rt.
M caeli: plus, the white stipes ruined pretending to be siblings.
MKLemonMerchant: Has nothing to do with incest, I swear.
M caeli: fuck you, i'm not ever going to a page that is japanese & titled "having a bath"
M caeli: fuck your watersports goatse bullshit!
MKLemonMerchant: Tch.
MKLemonMerchant: M, you disapoint me.
M caeli: fine okay i'll go to it.
M caeli: fine, peer pressure.
M caeli: fine.
M caeli: thanks for wrecking my life, aim bully.
MKLemonMerchant: That does not wreck your life.
MKLemonMerchant: I thought it was kind of funny.
MKLemonMerchant: I mean, horrible, but funny.
M caeli: i was going to do that "most recent posts to all of livejournal" but you make japan happen to me.
M caeli: we nuked japan so they got into scat? fine. fine.
MKLemonMerchant: Huh?
M caeli: enjoy my 404 error, jerk!
MKLemonMerchant: Most recent posts to all of LiveJournal?
MKLemonMerchant: I don't understand.
M caeli: go to the homepage.
M caeli: this link?

did not load.
MKLemonMerchant: Yeah?
MKLemonMerchant: No kidding.
MKLemonMerchant: Did for me.
M caeli: my computer is cracked out. its fucking adled.
M caeli: i lend no trust in it! my computer, its out to get me. i named it "roy batty, the first electronic killah"
M caeli: my last computer was a 486 sx, with 4mb of ram. i named it the HAL 50. all the manovolence of the 9000 series, none of the processing power. so you can imagine, any upgrade whatsoever was hot shit to my dumb ass.
MKLemonMerchant: It turns out the picture "Artificial Dolphin" is pretty cool, also.
M caeli: if you emailed it to me i'd look at it at a lab.
MKLemonMerchant: Woah.
MKLemonMerchant: Dude. Just go to
M caeli: i'll try.
MKLemonMerchant: Start from the earlier galleries and just watch this guy's mind warp over time.
M caeli: so whats your story lately, motherfucker? you are leaving, so like, you should rob all the liquor stores near you. or at least make embarassing scenes at local bars.
M caeli: 404!
MKLemonMerchant: Your computer is foolish.
MKLemonMerchant: My story?
MKLemonMerchant: I am done with work.
MKLemonMerchant: The rest of my week is about packing, finishing up social stuff, and getting the hell out of dodge.
M caeli: man, my roomate moved his shit out? i feel like a god-damnned ghost. like, fuck my landlords. i just haunt this apartment. what? what!
M caeli: everything smells like starch on a shirt.
MKLemonMerchant: I guess I mostly feel really wierd.
MKLemonMerchant: I'd forgotten how much I like limbo.
M caeli: its fucking weird. man, new york has this girl? she lets me see her naked. plus, i think she's the greatest. thats real ace? & i know people there? but man, i don't know about you? this whole "move far away & try to make friends" deal is bullshit. i mean, i'm an asshole!
MKLemonMerchant: I mean, the inbetween stages.
M caeli: yeah? thats like, your speed?
MKLemonMerchant: !!!
MKLemonMerchant: Try until you don't get a 404 error.
MKLemonMerchant: I'm not sure I can think about this.
MKLemonMerchant: DSL, thanks.
MKLemonMerchant: Sometimes I like being social.
M caeli: i like being social but mostly because i like watching people crumple.
MKLemonMerchant: Sometimes I like being awake until the sun comes up and sleeping while people do their repulsive business in the sun.
MKLemonMerchant: There's something offensive about the daytime.
MKLemonMerchant: I like it well enough, but I don't think I'll ever stop prefering 4 AM when nobody is awake.
M caeli: i want to blot it out pretty badly.
MKLemonMerchant: You have email?
M caeli: i am all antihelios
M caeli: jdburke@
M caeli: mind the gap, motherfucker!
M caeli: hahah, i'm a fucker.
M caeli: man, i put alot of vodka in that last drink there.
MKLemonMerchant: Go now.
MKLemonMerchant: Check your email and spend 5 minutes downloading 90k, you fucker motherfucker.
M caeli: omg i fucking hate you, with your internet toys.
M caeli: yes i will.
M caeli: la la la la. how many people would you say you hate?
MKLemonMerchant: How many?
MKLemonMerchant: Hm.
MKLemonMerchant: That's a very good question.
MKLemonMerchant: How close do I have to come?
MKLemonMerchant: YO!
MKLemonMerchant: M!
MKLemonMerchant: How close?
M caeli: a smidgen.
MKLemonMerchant: Fuck.
MKLemonMerchant: Well, look.
M caeli: like, we're talking LIST. like, you gotta care.
MKLemonMerchant: Right now the extimated population of the planet is about six billion three hundred twenty five million.
MKLemonMerchant: That's 6,325,000
MKLemonMerchant: No, no. Wait.
MKLemonMerchant: That's 6,325,000,000
M caeli: okay, so we tie there. except, i hate like, stuff too.
M caeli: so how much love you got, hippy?
MKLemonMerchant: Love? Yeesh.
M caeli: well, i'm curious.
MKLemonMerchant: How close do I have to be about this shit?
MKLemonMerchant: Nevermind.
MKLemonMerchant: Look, I can't think of any offhand but it seems likely there's at least one. Probably.
MKLemonMerchant: So let's say one. Maybe two at the outside.
M caeli: man, fuck that. man. i'm 2, MAYBE three.
MKLemonMerchant: That's still a ratio of 3,162,500,000 to 1.
MKLemonMerchant: Which is pretty cool, but still not as cool as Darth Vader.
MKLemonMerchant: So I figure we've got to, like, practice or something.
M caeli: dude, eff that. dv loves 3 people!
M caeli: 3! luke, he would love leigh, & padme.
M caeli: i'm tied!
M caeli: tied.
MKLemonMerchant: Yeah, but he gets to hate the whole galaxy.
MKLemonMerchant: And he's got some kind of statistics to go along with it.
MKLemonMerchant: I mean, suppose you get to count everybody you've killed as being on the "hate" list.
M caeli: dude, but he's a pagan atheist. i hate GOD. thats some hot shit.
MKLemonMerchant: And then you explode a planet.
M caeli: man, i want a death star.
M caeli: thats so cool.
MKLemonMerchant: Yeah. That would totally rule.
M caeli: but maybe i think the super star destroyer is cooler.
MKLemonMerchant: Why?
M caeli: its like, a sexy spaceship!
M caeli: i mean, the death star is like an evil moon?
MKLemonMerchant: You like pointy things better, I guess?
M caeli: yeah! i like triangles.
M caeli: thats pretty much it.
MKLemonMerchant: And I'm going to have to say hating God doesn't count.
MKLemonMerchant: Because they the Ancient Greeks would have us both beat on account of some of them hated a whole bunch of Gods.
MKLemonMerchant: And then you have the Canadians (whom I hate) who also hate God but it doesn't count as much what with the exchange rate and all.
M caeli: yeah, but i'm pretty sure i could take zeus. actually. i bet i could take jehovah in a fight. so nix that.
M caeli: does canada hate god? fuck that. canada has to love god. they are all my enemies.
MKLemonMerchant: So what about if someone is Japanese hates the Celestial Dragon?
MKLemonMerchant: See, this is why Darth Vader still wins.
MKLemonMerchant: With the Death Star you suddenly don't have to give a shit about any of that anymore because you can just explode the Canadians and everybody else.
M caeli: dude, you don't have to try to convince my motherfucking ass that darth vader is cool.
MKLemonMerchant: Then you hire about a million people to put all the notches in the bedpost before you go to sleep.
MKLemonMerchant: I mean, you could hire those millions of people to put notches in, like, the whole fucking Endor forest because that's how many notches you have at this point that you need a whole fucking forest...
MKLemonMerchant: ...and then you just shoot them and the goddamn forest too.
M caeli: japan? man, we made their shadows be on walls. like, fuck japan. america wins over japan. we have fatman! little boy! my two sex slaves i would name that. if i had sex zombies, like jeff dahlmer.
MKLemonMerchant: *sighs*
MKLemonMerchant: That'd be the life.
M caeli: man, a stormtrooper in an atst killed an ewok.
MKLemonMerchant: Did you get that picture, by the way?
M caeli: imagine how sweet life would be if instead of ewoks, it was wookies. a wookie could beat a stormtrooper.

yeah, it was okay.
MKLemonMerchant: Wookies would have been much, much cooler.
M caeli: & plausible.
MKLemonMerchant: THere could have been some, like, twisting off heads...
M caeli: ripping off arms, etc.
MKLemonMerchant: ...and maybe Chewie could have scored, which he totally deserves.
M caeli: a wookie is a crazy hairy giant, not a teddy bear (unless you cuddle feral neanderthal death machines like super cool han)
M caeli: chewie does deserve ass. doesn't he have like, some family via that xmas special?
MKLemonMerchant: Yes, but I vaguely remember them being all much more retarded than even the normal feral neanderthal death machine.
MKLemonMerchant: I think Chewie's chances all went to hell when Jim Henson died.
M caeli: sadly perhaps true. man, the skeksie is my model for the goblin.
M caeli: i like me the skeksie an awful lot.
M caeli: i'm 1/2 goblin 1/2 elf you know/
MKLemonMerchant: Is that true?
M caeli: likr lugh of the long arm. oops. my typing is slipping fast.
M caeli: ITS TRUE
MKLemonMerchant: You have an excuse.
MKLemonMerchant: You've been drinking, you know.
M caeli: signed by a nurse!
M caeli: i was offline for a while on the offchance my jenny would call me.
M caeli: but i cam back! man, fuck caffine. not taking a drug sometimes means that i can clean your clock.
MKLemonMerchant: How do you think it's going to go once you move?
M caeli: i think it is gonna go really fucking well, actually.
MKLemonMerchant: God I hope so.
MKLemonMerchant: That'd be quite cool.
M caeli: like, that girl? i've had lots of longdistance relationship with? but i feel like, maybe thats not the best way for us. like, when we can team up? i aspire. i win. & she? is so great. i mean, shit. she does things to me? that i can't even imagine right now, without her here.
M caeli: like, i never ever feel safe when i sleep? except, i do with her. i trust her to protect me.
& thats awful sadly desperate? but also true. like, she makes being alive worth some kind of action.
she's more important than like, el dorado.
M caeli: i mean. if i actually fancied myself a writer? shit. she'd be a muse enough to fill libraries. plus, she's a sexy librarian! a sexy librarian. i get to make out with the hot porn cliche. i rule!
MKLemonMerchant: Good for you.
MKLemonMerchant: And she gets to screw a virgin boy, except for her.
M caeli: no, thats not true.
MKLemonMerchant: I thought she was the only girl you ever slept with?
M caeli: i had some awful throwaway girl that i slept with a couple times to make some other girl hate me.
M caeli: no, i lost the "big v" to jenny though.
MKLemonMerchant: Ah.
M caeli: she took it! i was taken.
MKLemonMerchant: Woah.
MKLemonMerchant: I also lost my big v to a girl named Jen, although definitely not the one who took yours.
M caeli: because if a hot girl says "i want you to fuck me" you loose some kind of choice! especially if you maybe have the biggest crust ever on her.
M caeli: who is your jen?
M caeli: it better not be mine. i will murder.
MKLemonMerchant: Jen Kozakowski.
M caeli: who the eff is that.
MKLemonMerchant: Don't worry. I'm stone, dead sure it's not yours.
MKLemonMerchant: Nobody you've ever met in your life.
MKLemonMerchant: She went to my highschool.
M caeli: whew. less killing for me.
M caeli: dude, i was like, 19 when i lost mine. all through high school i self-indentified as asexual. i didn't know before jenny! i didn't know that if you made out with someone you LIKED it was pretty fucking sweet. it turns out i hate most everyone, though.
M caeli: man i hate everybody.
MKLemonMerchant: Fuck you.
MKLemonMerchant: !!!! FUCK YOU !!!!
M caeli: fuck you you fucking fuck!
MKLemonMerchant: Fuck you fucker!
M caeli: you are the....FUCK YOU!
MKLemonMerchant: Heineken is for pussies!
MKLemonMerchant: Pabst Blue Ribbon!
M caeli: hahah, true!
M caeli: fuck you! no bars, beer is for bars, orloff 4 life
M caeli: i swig from the bottle.
MKLemonMerchant: Orloff?
M caeli: eat that, you pansy ass richboy!
MKLemonMerchant: I don' t know Orloff.
MKLemonMerchant: Do I hate Orloff?
M caeli: thats because you are a fucker.
M caeli: do you hate cheap vodka?
MKLemonMerchant: Psst.
MKLemonMerchant: You want to know something?
MKLemonMerchant: fuck you.
MKLemonMerchant: I...
MKLemonMerchant: shit.
MKLemonMerchant: I don't know if I can hate any vodka.
M caeli: hahahah, enjoy orloff!
M caeli: wait, shit, i found something in my pockets!
M caeli: its a big bag of "hahah, fucker, i hate you!"
MKLemonMerchant: Hahahahaha!
MKLemonMerchant: Ah, that's awesome.
M caeli: hahha, are you drinking?
MKLemonMerchant: Nope.
M caeli: hahha, you will look like an ass when i post this in my livejournal then, mr. aa.

M caeli: mother fuck, look at who's ghost came into my living room.
Ovieh is Dead: ha
M caeli: what the fuck is up?
Ovieh is Dead: nothing much, jsut surviving
M caeli: pretend i am a brazilian counterstrike gamer. f4agg0r+!
Ovieh is Dead: i don't like those south americans
M caeli: surviving is a shitty way to do it. use two hands. it helps with the strangling. i think.
Ovieh is Dead: i black out
M caeli: yeah, man, fuck ever slur y ou call southamericans.
M caeli: dirty southpaws
M caeli: i like blacking out! i have to drink alot to make it happen.
Ovieh is Dead: i really can't afford that much alcohol...
M caeli: hear that. what is your tale of late?
Ovieh is Dead: classified
M caeli: man, i enjoy TOP SECRET MAJESTIC clearance. hit me up with that.
Ovieh is Dead: would you believe that i'm in an internet cafe in a place called jabal ali
M caeli: yes, i'd believe it, but i might make fun of you.
Ovieh is Dead: searching for diablo 2 keygens
M caeli: wtf. this conversation is over! over!!

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