mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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disconcerting dreams under the latticework of twilight. the first dream i had was of a yellow school bus full of african bushmen all wearing bishop's mitres & singing nirvana. a more disconcerting dream was a sort of sitcom sex dream, where this girl & i melted into a puddle within seconds (00:00:00's) of meeting each other. the thing was, this had happened before, with her, identically- or so i knew in the dream. i kept quizing her on the situation, unable to tell if i was dreaming or could see the future. we snuck away to my room to have sex but then the next morning? the dream bubble popped & i realized that i had been duped- they she was my ex-girlfriend who had repeated our original courtship in order to trick me. at this point, i started to figure out that it was a dream, but here was the kicker: even after that point, i was still stuck in the dream. so for about an hour (1:00) i lay in bed asleep thinking that i'd cheated on jenny & all torn up about it. eventually i woke up & realized it was a dream, but my chest was still tight.

at one point i woke up to gunn confiding her problems in me, which was actually a very pleasent transition. i have been in bed all day. unpleasently dreaming in the heat. all i've listened to today is they might be giants & rasputina, though the cd i really wish i was listening to is in new york, along with, you know, all my aspirations for true love. i hate this part, where i can't sleep so i end up in bed all day trying to catch up with exhaustion. feeling like i'm trapped on the gravitron at a fair.

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