mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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today was laundry day, & boy was i pissed for the duration. the driers here in my apartment complex fucking suck. not even just suck in the way that you can't actually put a whole load in a college town drier & expect it to work way. oh no. just because i'm a maniac scientist, i put one load in the drier without actually putting quarters in. just letting it sit there. it turned out just as dry as the drier loads i put in twice. i was astounded, if by astounded you mean asking myself "what is seventy-five cents ($.75) times six (6)? now all the furniture in my apartment is draped in sheets like ghosts, & every available place to hang something has a shirt. it feels real laverne & fucking shirley.

also, why is it that at the gym the area i most want to improve is the one that is hardest to target? i hate having a body predisposed towards a beer belly while also having a savannah predator metabolism. eh, who am i kidding. i'm not all that worried about it. i just think i look silly lifting sometimes when my shirt bunches up around my mid-section. but man, fuck all. give me a few more weeks & i'd give myself five (5) rounds vs. godzilla, & i'd say gamera'd have to win by tko. i'm unfuckingbreakable. give me your poor your tired & your weary. i'll chew 'em up & spit em out like a soldier tearing open a musket cartridge with his teeth. watch out, jeff noon. i mix my metaphors like fetish cocktails. & by fetish i mean malatov.

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