mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli
mordicai

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i spindle my fingers then sleep.

of course i spoke to soon like always on the subject of last-time forevers. because i went over to cortney's parent's house to be charming & eat rhubarb pie. after that she came over & drank coffee while we talked around the impending precipice. & at the end we talked about being evil anthropologists & said so long. god-damn & i can't stop saying so long. which is how it feels since. well since something, since talking over chinese banquet beer maybe. & jenny doesn't understand it, she gets twisted about it, which i get. but like, i even talked about her with cortney's parents. whatever razorblade whirlwind stands between cortney & me is something unconnected to what anyone saw between us. something fragmented apart & hammer blows were landed. or you could say the whole thing siphoned out like gasoline. its really pretty dependent on how you look at it. but maybe the knitting needles of our falling out have gotten tired & dulled. because it sure didn't seem so sabertooth tiger tonight. like i've bitten the bitter right off my tastebuds so the taste of the goodbye is just sweet.
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