Music:all of sixty nine (69) love songs, in order.
this is about nessie.
my voice mail has so many messages on it, i get to hear the elusive "noon." when someone calls exactly at noon (12:00 pm), instead of saying the hour & minutes in robot lady voice, it just up & says "noon." they stopped & programmed that in; they thought about that & chose to do it in that particular fashion. & on my jesus dvd, the back of it says "63 events from the film are linked to historical evidence on the internet." its like everyone on the internet is looking for proof of something. me, i'm looking for proof of the loch ness monster. there is already enough evidence about me waking up from nightmares sobbing (for extra humiliation). i joke about naps the way that other people joke about suicide. my nights are empty rollerskating rinks filled with enemies. they don't even tie their skates. all music sounds like engrish to me. but i've got a handle on this life of spilt milk. i know dozens of ways to dispose of bodies without leaving evidence for the police. i write in my diary that i am a samurai, & drop mad rhymes like paul simon. wait, what? fucking paul simon & his bat-faced girls! get the hell out of my diary! if you ever try to create a thug life history for paul simon (or heavens forbid billy joel) in this town again, you're finished! i'll describe you with the adjective ghastly; & what's more, i have it on good authority that the way i pronounce adjective is pretty!