mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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we were doing the terminal branches of the brachial plexus (c 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, t1) today in musculo-skeletal, & there was a great picture of two arms, each severed at a diffrent location. the cuts were absolutely flawless- right through the bone, the muscle, the skin, & without any tearing what so ever. one was cut off at the humerous, the other at the forearm, & you could see the hands down out of focus in the distance of the slide.

i'm sort of hopeful that if i am going to throw myself into something to distract myself from my problems, it will be into school. being sick & that snow day fucked me up; i have to retake a roman achievement test that i missed simply from being out of step from the two missed days. this is a problem because if i talk to the teacher, he may ask why i'm not currently enrolled. mother fucking financial aid. but the thing is: my whole attitude to this is sort of becoming okay. i'm looking at this as some final hurdle to overcome. if i can sort this mess out, i feel like i'll actually be somewhat confident in my ability to mimic a stable human exsistance. on wednesday i'm going to ask kingtycoon to read the packet of papers i have & see if he can give me any advice. what i really have to do is keep myself from withdrawing from it. maybe it is as simple as that strange sort of anxiety that kids who were gifted students growing up get.

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