mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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At Least There is New Jenny Lewis.

At this point, the worst part about my hurt arm is that it has moved me into having insomnia. I've never slept well; I used to have chronic nightmare, then there's sleep apnea...I try to cover the spread, psychological & physiological. That improved drastically when I moved in with Jennifer, both because of comfort & her kicking me if I stop breathing. Things were going great until my arm made it impossible to sleep in any of my usual positions & started pinging with pain every few hours. Things are a lot better with the arm, but there is still plenty of pain, but even worse is that I have trained my circadian rhythms to basically give up & stop working. I don't mind so much that my body wants to go to bed at ten & wake up at six, I can be a curmudgeonly old dude, but now I just can't sleep. I have a pet peeve about people who brag about their lack of sleep (or how "busy" they are) but this sure isn't bragging. This isn't some hyper-adapted trait. I didn't stop needing sleep, I stopped getting it. Plus it comes complete with chronic nausea! Waking up in a panic & having to throw up is something from growing up that I didn't miss. Also you know, snarly & disassociated. A raw nerve who needs constant reassurance. It is unflattering. I trying things like "going back to bed after you wake up" or "try sleeping on the couch" or "what if you stay up late to reset the clock?" have been failures & I worry in some cases even counter-productive. The arm is improving though, I'm ahead of the program that the doctor gave my physical therapist. Oh & I haven't cut my hair in forever, because I need both hands to go against the warp & weft of my hair with the buzzers. So that's my medical update. In other news, fordmadoxfraud & Libby just arrived at my apartment for this weekend's July Shenanigans.
Tags: jenny lewis, shoulder, sleep
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