June 4th, 2008

m-ouse ears.

been caught stealin', once.

i've been crazy busy, or at least, busy coupled with jenny having a big project that she's needed the computer for (putting wedding photos on flickr). so i have a bunch of junk to talk about now, but i don't know when i'm going to get the chance. i have to write up i have to write up sunday's game, & the books i've finished, & how we went to matt's, & tuesday's big name change trip, & rehearsal, & everything. well, one thing real quick-- at matt's, waiting for files to compress, i read a couple of art books. i'll list them here.

expedition by wayne barlowe.

darkwerks by brom.

the fantastic art of beksinski by zdzislaw bekinski.
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wild eyed


sailor on the seas of fate by michael moorcock.

more elric, & this one gets into it right away. elric, stranded on a shoreline, hunted by enemies, it picked up by a creepy boat. on the boat? three other incarnations of the "eternal champion," apparently other moorcock characters. more than four though-- that would risk the space/time continuum! they go on to fight evil magical buildings at the center of the universe, & merge into some four-face giant monster. okay, right on. then there is a little "love story awry" story in the middle of the book. that was okay, but only so good. the last part is an adventure in the jungle, to the ancient home of the melnioboneans. that was also pretty. getting batshit crazy will charm yours truly a little. still not the greatest stuff, but bubblegum enough that i'll read the next one before too long.


three hearts, three lions by poul anderson.

so i continue "paying my dues" to the fabulist classics. this book is cited pretty highly by all the bibliographers who talk about about dungeons & dragons roots, & it deserves to be high. war between law & chaos, check. paladin, laying on hands, mount, all of that, check. troll that regenerates, check. yeah, i'd say this is pretty ground-floor-- holger carlson is as much "the paladin" as aragorn is "the ranger" & conan is "the barbarian." & i liked it. it is a "guy snatched from the real world to be a great champion in fantasy" tale, & i gotta tell you, gene wolfe must fucking love this book, because the knight such a huge homage to it. really the best, most stand out thing about the book were the female characters. they are viable characters. they are sexually viable, too! not just the bad girls! yeah, there are bad seductresses, but that seduction is actually kind of seductive, & it isn't in a "whoa, hey, whores" fashion. you can tell, because the "good girl" is also sexually assertive. so yeah, i was impressed with the handling of sexuality in the book; it really captured the way people don't buckle, but rather try to excuse their way into being seduced.
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the spice mines of kessel, or worse.

oh man yesterday took some steel toes & kicked my ass around, didn't it? or no, not really. really it was a nice, spoked, horrid wheel, breaking me out on it slowly but surely. woke up to a sour stomach. jenny said i spent the night freaking out & she had to rock me to sleep. fun times! we were off then to the social security office. let me tell you-- what a difference a half an hour (:30) makes. when i went to get my new card, i was in, & then i was out. this time, not so much. instead, more like four hours of grueling siberian punishment. we were herded & struck in the head with pneumatic hammers. it did give me a chance to read...i can't even begin to imagine how the other people who weren't reading (i.e. everyone else but us) could stand it. after that, we went to buffalo wild wings (bw-3s) on a lark. the jerk chicken salad was two things: one, actually spicy, & two, made with iceberg lettuce. iceberg lettuce! what the hell, man? then we went down to the department of motor vehicles (dmv). that was not so bad, or at least, was what you'd expect. we waiting in line, talked to clerks, waited sitting down, had pictures taken, waited again, & were finished. i had expected i'd go to work when that was done, but it was like, three o' clock (3:00pm) then, so we decided to just soldier on with the marriage paperwork blitz. but first: fight! some asshole almost hit us with his car to prove a point, so we shouted, but once i started to walk over to his car, he made concillitory gestures, & then refused to meet my eyes. win by intimidation. we went to the bank & had our names changed is all, & then finally, home! or well, not really, because while jenny fucked around with the wedding photos, i had to go to play practice. which was short, but sweet. i'm glad i can start attending them again. when that finished, then i could finally go home, & i did. we split a sandwich & watched the mtv movie awards. it was okay. except all we ate all day was garbage & i feel like crap because of that. look, i said "feel." i don't often say that (hi disassociation!) but i guess most others wouldn't count saying it in a physical context the same as an emotional context. joke is on them, suckers! emotions are physical!
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oubliette session nine: the fabulous wonders of the badlands & granny.

last session left lorelai, damocles, & bedwin hiding in the honeycomb hill, surrounded by the savage tribes of the lords of carrion, having recently buried their "friend" balthazar. bedwin, seeing a chance to prove his mettle & wanting to see if escape was possible, woke the lovely lorelai to take his watch while he scouted out the enemy encampment. in doing so, he discovered that the sabertooth tiger admiring barbarians, the lords of slaughter, were hiding in a ring even closer to their camp! the adventurers were well & truly trapped. sneaking back to the honeycomb hill, bedwin was surprised by a figure, a figure that noticed him & strode on over with quick hopping steps-- the clearly inhuman xartrus. or well, something was wrong with him, all covered by a wimple & only his pasty, acromegalic face showing, never revealing his hands from beneath his leather cape. bedwin convinced the others to come off the hill & meet with him, & xartrus told them he could vouch safe them down the mantichora stair, & he marked them with blood to make it so.

down the stairs they went, ever so slowly. damocles had been hurt badly in the fray with the lords of slaughter, & lorelai was sinking into shock from the seemingly random death of balthazar, xartrus slinking off to "hunt". it took them two nights & three days to descend the steps, during which emotions ran high. at the feet of the stairs, they come up against the painted wall of dunes, a strange desert of many textures & substances-- clay, gravel, sand, dirt, anything you could imagine, in all the visible colours of the rainbow. the four of them stopped to rest, & heal: bedwin, damocles, & lorelai staying there, making water traps to keep hydrated, & again xartrus left to be alone. after another five days, damocles felt good enough to venture a crossing, & cross they did, sleeping among the dunes, finding lorelai in the morning surrounded by the wing bones of some great flying drake. after some time they came across a cobbled road, made up of horseshoe crab shells, & they took it.

the road of red chitin shells led them to a place of strange machines buried in dust; a czarist dome, which bedwin tried to uncover, the skeleton of a derrick of some sort, a great wheel hundreds of feet across. & above all, a freshwater lake! with a vast metal cone tower along side of it, & golden swan boats garnished with peacock feathers! the boats had the smell of ages on them, as though they had been kept in a hollywood attic for hundreds of years, & just trotted out now. the party got onto the boats, finding them easily steered by pedals which dipped the wings in the water to turn, & a gondola pole for good measure. once they slipped into the river that led off the lake, they found themselves making astonishingly good time; the river provided constant propulsion, & the sides were sheer, the water deep, almost like a chute. going down, they saw vast shadows in the sky-- birds! & later saw them, giraffe like, feeding on wrigling lizards the size of ponies (pictured above). the river culminated in a waterfall! but they had the foresight to pull off before then, into tiny pools leading off the main bed of the river. they also saw other swan boats there, & one got sucked under the placid surface of the water.

from there, they saw an enormous waterfall, like one of the niagara falls, pouring water into a narrow gulf which existed between the falls & a huge mountain rising across from it. they also saw some of the huge drakes taking wing, using the pressure from below to soar upwards into the sky. the mountain was striped green & grey, for on close inspection the saw it to be terraced, carved into vast steps, presumably once used for crops, but now long since overgrown into forests, well watered by the falls, teaming with strange life, each a microcosm depending on what seeds landed there. the four crossed a bridge they discovered that spanned the gulf, & then there they were, climbing the hulk of the mountain. they slept amidst the nocturnal chatter of the life there, & before the second night came upon them, they found in the twilight an abandoned house. as soon as they entered, well. poof!

the house was filled with clutter: chickens in cages stacked on cords of broken furniture, faggots of reeds, smashed pottery, wadded up rags, broken lamps. mason jars filled with strange liquids with rusty tea kettles on top, collections of bones, jelly & pickles, wooden fan blades jutting out in the gaps. lorelai turned to speak to damocles & when she turned back, bedwin was gone. she looked around a corner to see bedwin & then damocles too was gone. she started to run through the place, looking for her friends, but found only a heron. a simple swordsbird, fencing with his beak, who advised her to say yes three times, but no after that. & too there was choke-pear, a familiar made of clockwork & doll parts & frog legs, who told her to always say yes, & a box of cut-off faces, all speaking together, which told her to say no no no! then granny came. granny was as tall as a bad dream, hunched of back, warted as a witch, with iron teeth & a shawl. hideous, maternal, screeching granny.

lorelai had to mop the kitchen, where she also sparred with the heron. granny came in, to make stone soup! a little belladonna, a little pepper, some turnips, some salt, some arsenic, some saffron, some this & that & oh! she had not meat! but could lorelai spare a bit of blood for the soup? & lorelai said she could. that night, lorelai slept in a trundle bed at the foot of a canopy bed of lavish, if ancient & musty, design, in a room filled with empty birdcages. the next day, lorelai was polishing the silver ware in the armory, kept company by the box of faces. granny came in looking for a fish hook but could find nothing. so she decided to make one, & asked lorelai for a cup of blood to temper it in. oh no, said lorelai, so granny was forced to look elsewhere for the blood. that night, there were buckets of water in the room with lorelai, & lorelai stuck her head in a broken birdcage & sang songs. the next night, there was a prince coming to visit, & lorelai was told to clean granny's best dress-- a moth eaten, tea stained old gown. boxed lied to lorelai, telling her to cut it up for rags, but choke-pear told lorelai to clean it, & lorelai trusted choke-pear, though she was lost & crying. along came giant old granny, mother of ogres, & asked if lorelai could give her a cup of blood. granny wanted to seduce the prince, & wanted to spill the blood on the sheets to make the prince think she was a virgin. that night, the serving staff, including lorelai, waiting & watched from the windows. soldiers on too too long legged horses came, all banded in red armor with big ridged shields on their backs. three carriages with chicken legs came next. from the first emerged a torrent of birds, & from the third emerged nothing, but from the middle came the prince, all legs of shot iron, an arm of fur & claws, another of tentacles & scales, a face of eyes & blue beards & a tri-corn hat. the monster prince!

in the night, there was a guest in the canopy bed that in the room with lorelai. a dark woman covered in a gown of bird feathers, cruel of aspect, robotic as any bird. she told tracey not to be afraid. & while she slept, lorelai washed her face. the next morning, granny came to lorelai & told her she could go, if only she'd leave granny with a cup of blood. granny had gathered together the gown lorelai had washed, & some turnips from the soup, & the mop for a backbone, & silverware for fingers, & made a little lorelai scarecrow. lorelai gave her a cup of blood & walked out the front door...
forever sleep

the ceremony.

eventually doing this in bite sized chunks had to lead to talking about the ceremony itself, & now that we have matt's photos, we've reached that point. jenny's watchwords for me were "emotionally present," which is impossible for me, so i decided to interpret that as "say true things." since it made everyone cry, i don't think you can say i didn't do a good job. from what i've seen on television sitcoms that makes it a successful wedding.

for the record, here is a transcript of the ceremony.

once the difficulties with jenny's dress were sorted out & the cocktail hour had concluded, the ceremony itself began to get underway. due to the aforementioned difficulties with the dress, we hadn't had a chance to block the ceremony, or rehearse it, so it was time to improvise! it began with jenny & myself walking down a gauntlet of the guests, with them all handing her flowers.

jenny's mother officiated the ceremony, & here is a picture of us while it was going on. note the green ribbon. at one point, jenny's father read from scary stories to tell in the dark:

The Green Ribbon by Alvin Schwartz

"Once there was a girl named Jenny. She was like all the other girls, except for one thing. She always wore a green ribbon around her neck. There was a boy named Alfred in her class. Alfred liked Jenny, and Jenny liked Alfred. One day he asked her, "why do you wear that ribbon all the time?" "I cannot tell you," said Jenny. But Alfred kept asking, "Why do you wear it?" And Jenny would say, "It is not important." Jenny and Alfred grew up and fell in love. One day they got married. After their wedding, Alfred said, "Now that we're married, you must tell me about the green ribbon." "You still must wait," said Jenny. I will tell you when the right time comes." Years passed. Alfred and Jenny grew old. One day Jenny became very sick. The doctor told her she was dying. Jenny called Alfred to her side. "Alfred," she said, "now I can tell you about the green ribbon. Untie it, and you will see why I could not tell you before." Slowly and carefully, Alfred untied the ribbon, and Jenny's head fell off."

& i took off the ribbon & tied it around her flowers. it was a one-two punch! first, the laughing, then the crying!

also during the ceremony, there was a poem about a spider & jenny's mother quoted hedwig & the angry inch.

i mentioned the dark & terrible secret of my wardrobe & you can see it here: my vest was by juicy couture!

then i said my vows:

"I always wanted to be in love. I didn’t expect to be—my philosophy ranges from solipsism at best to nihilism at worst, but is more often in a middle world, populated by terrible angels, & confusion, & shadows.

You found me in the labyrinth. You fixed me when I was broken—in fact, you broke me into a million pieces, put me back together again, & I was the better for it. You demanded a place in my mythology, & my personal pantheon demanded you be in it as well. You are greater than the sum of your parts, & the sum of your parts is priceless. You are my conscience. I need you & I love you.

When I wake up, I wake up next to you. & that is what getting married is. Waking up. Next to you. You don’t complete a missing piece of me; you are a new part of something else. Of us. You & me is the start of we. & that will be an awfully big adventure."

& then she said her vows:

"Before I even met you, I thought I knew who you were and what to expect. But like most people, I underestimated you. Because while it’s true that you’re an evil genius and a huge geek, you’re also secretly fun and sweet and thoughtful. And now we’ve both transformed so that you’re the only person I can imagine standing up here with, the only person I’d want to watch television with, and the only person who would tuck me into bed every night.

Face, I love you for loving me even when I’m being a fussy brat, but I love you even more for the times when you can tell I’m being a bigger person than comes naturally to me. I love the way you look at me when you get home from work, and the way you give me the time I need to myself before wanting my attention.

I love you for fighting for us, and never giving up on this. I love you for fighting for me and protecting me when the world has gotten to scary.

You accept me, but you push me. And I will solemnly swear, make blood oaths and promise to keep doing the same for you.

Because together we’re unstoppable, and I think this is gonna be awesome."

then we exchanged rings.

then we were presented as husband & wife (no one liked my idea of "wife & were")

& then we kissed.
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a response to "a rapist's view of the world: joss whedon & firefly."

woah. woah indeed. i really wanted to respond with some rebuttals, but your entry is full of too much vitriol & anecdotal argument for me to do so. using the fact that your personal experience with biracial couples has been negative means a character on television is a rapist & abuser...is a pretty poor bit of critical reading. & using such incredibly inflammatory language, such as "raped/fucked/used" &...well, mostly rape & rapist? does no one any favors. it totally undercuts any valid arguments you might have. like the one about inara servicing the emotional needs of the crew without being compensated. instead of me playing devil's advocate & wondering if jayne is compensated for providing violence to the crew, & wondering if he pays rent, i instead have to dismiss your argument, since you then go on to say Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Joss uses his own wife in this way. nice & personal!
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