constant, forever war. i bought a bokken the other day, to use for my "work-out." man, fuck i hate myself. me & the skinsuit have had our difficulties, but we are at a grim impasse currently. fuck. although jenny says my butt is hot. & i think my legs are. i'm tall, so that is like, 50% of things. okay! gross. fuck i hate me. anyhow! i have a wooden practice sword! musashi gave up using actual swords in favor of bokken at one point. good job with that oar, dude. anyhow, tonight i watched that movie about rwanda. the part where he tells everyone to stop bugging the un as they pull out, that was his most intresting & heroic moment. his weird power-beta-male is strange. like, no, not beta male. alpha male from a beta tribe. i don't know. i'm reading nichola griffith's book the blue place which is pretty great. i like that kung-fu dyke! her female characters all act in some irrational way that rings true to me. like, yeah. girls are crazy. but not dumb crazy. whereas griffith's chicks all think boys are silly. which is true. she basically has her characters hate beta males & feel vaguely contemtuous of alpha males. cute, right? basically, she gets gender & sexuality, but from the opposite of me. i like that ms cripple! good job.