May 19th, 2005

modern nazgul

episode iii.

while i was doodling away at work, i started listing the traits of episode three, of in fact the entire prequel trilogy, as pros & cons. the cons quickly grew, piling on top of one another. there is no scoundral, no han or lando. anakin is a sullen boy with anger issue, not a cold as ice antisocial personality type who chokes before raising his voice. there are too many villians, each on stage long enough to warrent an action figure & then disposed of. the jedi are basically cops. padme is basically a walking uterus with no actual story value. they are too "busy"- in the third film, lucas milks the yoda thing to death, but the whole kashyyk plot could have been cut out with no loss at all. & mind you, i like wookies. one of my cons was "nooooooo!" which is best aproximated with the hammed up arm shaking.

my pro list was short. the butt-head palpatine is a nice fix with the old-style make-up job. actually, as far as revenge of the sith, palpatine really stands out as the good part. i mean, him laughing as insane as the joker while he throws down with yoda? go emperor! of course, then i have to start thinking of how the audiance cheered every time yoda whipped out his lightsaber, leaving me hating lucas & everyone in the theater & thinking "wars not make one great? that yoda?" so i don't dwell on it. general grievous was pretty cool, but if lucas hadn't killed dooku in the first five minutes (a great five minutes!) then he wouldn't have been neccisary. & what was with obi-wan killing him with a blaster? so my pro-list was looking pretty grungy. the things that i'd come up with were only with reservation. damn.

but then i realized that i was leaving out some pros. like, did you know there are jedi in this movie? jedi fighting with lightsabers? there are also space ships, flying around in space & shooting at each other. also, darth vader was in this movie! man how is THAT for a couple of pros? those are some serious sweet pros, you betcha. also, jar jar didn't even say one word this movie! & that scene where anakin was totally all gimped up & caught on fire & was screaming hate at obi-wan! right on, vader! then there were also space ships, fighting. & jedi. did i mention that they were using lightsabers? on each other! or well, against the sith. but same diffrence.
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