February 12th, 2005

goblin's grimace

jilted science.

some old fucking biddy tried to run a scam on me this morning; a poorly executed slip-shod scam deeply insulting to the connoussier of the wicked. i mean, her story was that someone had sold her the wrong book. those bastards! except here is the thing! they'd sold her the book her class had just finished using, & she needed to exchange it for the book that they had just started using! well lookee at that coincidence, ma'am! sheriff mordicai got a little bit suspicious. so fuck her. then when she rolled over immediately & just decided to be the next book (guilty!), she tried to do this whole "oh my book i've lost my book i think you put it back on the shelf!" shit. fuck you lady! i can see it right in your fucking bag right there! so i pointed at it & said "your book is right there in your bag where you just 'looked.'" & she shut up & left. that's right little lady, round these parts i'm the lawman. i have a gun, & a yen for bullying. or at least bullying punk-ass scofflaws like yours truely, because i hate old people.

i have started reading the bloody crown of conan. let me see, what else happened to me so far today! an english professor was all using some patriot act cop raid on her landlord as an excuse to brag about her & her boyfriend's book collection. "arn't cops terrible (i have 9 shelves of books!)" n' shit. i got her to cough up that it was only 6 units with 3 smaller ones. hell lady, that ain't so much! i mean, sure it is more than we've got, but not by the time we are as old as you! suck it! then some other guy came in & talked to me about sci-fi books. & then one of those weird customer things where they are trying to find text books to send to their kid in the caribbean. we couldn't fucking have that book any less jerk-ward! then i ate an entire chicken, feathers & all. in one gulp.
  • Current Music
    crown me king- snicker-snack, bitch!

fuck it.

it was ashy! it was a chimney sweep! it had a little broom! there are such things are grey chickens! it wasn't a pigeon! it was a chicken, a famous grey chicken! it had a little broooom! it came out of the chimney! i saw it! auntie mordicai only its street chicken! street chickens with little brooms! i shook it's hand for good luck! it wasn't a pigeon it wasn't. also; my rapper name is "cracker" not because i'm white, it is because i'll taser anybody, i don't even care. have a little juice! crack-crack-crack goes my taser! back in riker's i tasered, 6, 7 guys. i was a C.O., bitch. aww, man, it it just me & dantelong who wanna get tasered, or does, like, everyone secretly want to be? remember that guy george i knew? he was a prison guard, he totally was tasered & tear gassed & maced & shot with a bean bag. i've only ever had tear gas at a riot, & i was way far away, anyhow.
  • Current Music
    crown me king- the harlequin's hideous mask!