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mordicai caeli

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December 30th, 2004

(no subject) [Dec. 30th, 2004|11:19 am]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |morning forever.]
[Current Music |crown me king- hyrule has too many jim crow laws]

so once we start drinking peter "kromelizard" foyle keeps calling sparrowhills "oliver." which is funny enough, but we were drinking on his buck, so i won't soak on it too long. christopher (i guess dantelong?) ends up taking a nap as soon as we get on the train. i suppose we did finish that bottle of vodka but there were also four of us! less of an acomplishment & more of an...auto de fe. right? you know what i'm talking about, the ladies in the garter belts. raise your hands up in the air, ladies & start shooting! so yeah, we played some card games & i'd like to think i aquitted myself quite nicely. earlier i pulled second place in scrabble, beating fordmadoxfraud by 20-odd points. so all in all not a bad day at work.

after work i kidnapped olive & brought her back to my apartment. have i mentioned that i am pretty excited about having olive around? i sure am. so i walked her back from the grand army plaza station, right? if anybody deserves the apellation "grand army" its us, be assured. we bought some wine & some cigarettes & came home to the fussy jenny "pravda" mygirlfriend. she was annoyed about the drugstore's mishandeling of our disney photos, & it took quite a while to lull her out of it. we three kings of orient climbed about the fire escape, except olive is afraid of heights so we went back & used the interior stairs to go up to the roof. we played up there for a little while, then came back down until i was too drunk to be awake. by then olive's cab was here, & she zoomed back into manhattan. & i went to sleep, to double sleep even. to the sleep of davey jones' locker.
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(no subject) [Dec. 30th, 2004|12:22 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |the elder sigh.]
[Current Music |crown me king- getting dizzy with indrid cold]

"the mountains sure do rear up like a claw. but this glacial trickle will do a number on them, if we can just be patient. if our hive can enter some kind of blissful hibernation. we'll need somebody to keep their eyes open though, to hit the defroster when all this has passed." thats what the queen said! good little myrmidon that i am i volunteered for the task! but with oxygen levels at such a low, what's a boy to do? stay home all day trying to catch his breath, i guess. you know how ghosts always seem to diffuse into being on television? how they just wisp into form slowly? thats not they way an angel passes by. they leap into form, like the flame on a struck match. they flicker to life in an instant. its funny the silence that breeds when you have a constant trouble. a constant memory i guess? its hardly a trouble, when i keeps me who i am. the ship's captain shouldn't damn his anchor so much now that i think about it. but it is jarring. struck across the face with a crowbar. i live my life like my limbs are dollops of honey barely clinging to the kernal of my heart. its probably a good thing i do wrath instead of math. those formulae would get disgusting in just a few moments. golly i don't know. there is the circle of the sky & all i want to do is tear it down around my ears.
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the jumble of bones in the crawl-space. the humble of bones. [Dec. 30th, 2004|12:35 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |clay & saffron (black widow)]
[Current Music |crown me king- house's hue]

colours do seem to thrive don't they? i sense there is some secret there, some important insight. these throbbing shades. at its very core colour is a deciet, right? i mean, everything is the opposite of what you see. everything in the real world is film negative. eyeballs pick up the wavelengths the fabric rejects, the flawed instruments. but of course, since without that reflection, there would be no colour at all, the whole point is kind of compromised. i wonder what frankenstein's monster saw? i suppose it doesn't matter. sometimes i just try to guess at things that are real. i usually end up stumped, stem-cell research? is that real? fuck, i don't know. there isn't any other solution to come up with. the only conclusion to come to is to burn it all down & see whats left. acid rain? real or not, ripley? tell me, i dare you! o now i'm getting worked up. i think when i told jenny i had a head full of catapillars, that nailed it. perhaps they will molt into butterflies & i'll be left with some kind of gift. a crown, maybe? leukimia? a lottery ticket? so yeah, here i am with my hands cradling this squirming thought. some kind of formless idea. maybe its a neurolinguistics thing. maybe language is why i'm left with clumsey words like "heaven." i really don't...i mean haunted mansion. i mean empire of blood & brains. h.r. geiger...no, albrecht duhr! i wish i could just find some kind of tear to pull at. i've thrown up my hands in frustration so many times. just like i gave up on the dinosaurs, maybe i'll give up on humans. o i think i'll wait until the next empire, until the synthetic intellegences & post-humans have hatched from their eggs. fuck will you listen to me? what am i even talking about? i'm just trying to say "i'm not alone," but that it is the loneliest kind of company you can imagine. colourless & without wavelength. un-kissable.
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