so the people in the apartment are all fighting each other like anything, screaming like monkeys & maybe pushing & tackling each other? swearing an awful lot. i wish i could brilliant out what the drama is down there, but it is probably too complicated & in fact to ridiculous for me to care about. it sure is funny, though jenny thinks its obnoxious. anyhow, maybe they are outside fighting now. today is going to be a day of jewish christmas from here out- maybe some gilmore girls, then to see the lemony snicket movie, then finally we'll get some chinese food. see what a compromiser she is? as much as i have to put in the effort to make christmas good, she makes it so as after the big money pay-off, i don't have to, i dunno, go carolling or to church or whatever the rest of the western world's saps get stuck doing. jesus is dumb, pagans are dumb, greed is only so-so, but i guess a charming girl can do a whole lot of redemption on these scene.
i may be an extraordinary villian forced into ordinary circumstances, but every so often i manage a triumph never-you-mind. like today the new christmas tradition of kicking a mouse. i snuck right up on it & gave it the boot! scurrying rodentia of the world, watch out! when i saw vermin i mean vermis & take no truck with any other (o tiamat!). this was on the way home from getting chinese food at red hot (i hate chicken & string bean, she had some baby ginger chicken) & much after a series of unfortunate events. yes, violet baudelaire is simply smashing, in that terrible way that only untouchable little girls are, though it hardly hurt that she was all tarted up like a gloomy princess, & her being some flashfire scientist wasn't exactly making her suck either. every thing in the film looked just so, & the acting was all you could want from what it was. the bufoonery was all with fair license. the plot of course was a terrible meandering mish-mash, & i can't recomend the movie to anyone, but visually it had that decaying victorian style. you know the certain style i mean. let me slyly put my finger along side my nose, & move along down the train tracks.
sort of floating here, talons dug into jenny, you know? departed, disassociated. i'm the smoke, the pall hanging over christmas. though i did well, o so well! i'm the clear cold winter's night for santa's sleigh to traverse! but i'm not really here. i like getting things, but i know there is something i'm not getting. luckily i know jenny's involvement with the holiday (while passionate, with the passion of one who can either hate or love intensely) is charcoal filtered through her selfishness- this i understand, can pander to & connect with. as i said, i'm doing my job with flair & finesse, but this thing remains. this is not for me. i don't know, this whole circle the wagons & lets make jolly in the face of the long night. the long winter being spit upon with feast & music & all. on a fundamental level i just want to sulk off & cast a long shadow. stand under streetlights & smoke a lot of cigarettes. basically i want to be a bad brooder cliche. not that i am resentful of being tethered here. its just my brain, split like an orange slice into segments.