|thais, apostate (season premiere this friday at 10:00 on UPN 9)
||[Dec. 23rd, 2004|10:25 am]
|||||crown me king- we just got a letter||]|
i am going to be late to work today. not too entirely late, but i am going to be late, & it isn't for lollygagging or fucking around on the internet (the usual suspects). see, the thing is? there isn't any hot water. my double-lovely jenny called me this morning to let me know that that was the case. she had to call me to inform me since i slept in the bedroom last night while she slept on the futon. see, we've been sleeping on the futon on account of our bed-bug problems. problems that just won't fucking quit! every so often i sleep in the bedroom as a lab rat, fluffy & clean. it is getting more complicated now, since i guess the bed bugs have a moses-bug that finally led them out of the bedroom & into the promised land that is our living room. i'm paranoid as hell that the bugs will set up a civilization in our library (we have five units of six level bookshelves) & will never die, but live in paradise amongst the spirits of their ancestors. ancestors our bug spray killed.
anyhow, no hot water means that i will have to wait for their to be some before i leave. now, the other options available to me are to either just go to work unshowered or to bite the bullet & take a cold shower. neither of these are going to happen. as someone who has taken cold showers before under duress (while camping, for instance, or, on one notable occasion, i took the coldest shower of my life on board the aircraft carrier U.S.S Nimitz), i have sworn against them. a covenant, if you will, against goose bumps, shivers, & shakes. seriously, fuck cold showers. if there is any way around them, i will take it. & going unshowered? i entertained the notion. i think, thank, thunk about it. i, as steve from blue's clues would have done, sat in my thinking chair. i figured out whether star-bellied sneetches or non-star-bellied sneetches are better (star-bellied) & worked out a proof of fermat's last theorum. now, sometimes i will go unwashed to work. usually on mondays, because on sunday i go to martak's house to play dungeons & dragons. martak has two cats, jenny is allergic to cats, & so when i get home at one in the morning (1:00 am) i take a shower to i don't get jenny puffy-eyed & dribbling. then on monday morning i figure "eh, i took a shower a couple of hours ago," & just head into work. & i'm not naturally smelly, or at least not agressively so. part of the perks of only being a hideous monster wearing a boy's skin. even if i was smelly, the store is garbage central, so who would notice? the answer? nobody. but i get itchy if i don't shower, you know what i mean? & i need to know if i am itchy from dirt, or from bed bugs. see how that shit all ties together? so i'll just wait for ceasar to finish banging on the pipes, & off i'll be.