tonight i will dream of heaven.
the real fight is. whether it will be nostalgia or terror.
if you know what i mean, then you know. if you don't? then you arn't real.
so uh, okay. wow, it encroaches. here i am, awake, but hell follows with me. or at this point, lets shed revelations. meggedo is the end of the world of man. & i've ever mantained that the world of men is un-important to our ilk. this is our relentless assault. or i mean. not like i'm not watching television. dating shows. but besides that! i'm assaulted by the ghosts of what i ought to be. oh shit dating shows. basically the same as horrific foreplay. it isn't like 12am to 3am programming isn't my meat & drink. MEAT FOR THE GOBLIN KING. oh shit. haha. fuck, i'm terrified. i'm shivering. i try to talk about my environment try to pass it off. oh! i've been excited about elections. badnarik here i come. fuck. okay, um. can i be uh, no wait, i'm not...fuck. oragami? lets talk fucking phillip k dick rip offs. like- uh. eyeballs. lets murder until howard phil writes about me. lets uh, lets uh.
i'm so fucking terrified of going to bed. oh right? you know how i wrote about it on the internet? oh shit! breaking the fourth wall or whatever? yeah, jenny took that opportunity to make fun of me about it. i <3 how i can write a bit about how i'm mortified with embarassment over my weird crippling fears? & she can joke around about it. i think what the real deal is? i would feel better if she saw that i was hurting & tried to help me. like- making fun of me? duh, irresistable. but i dunno. me vs. heaven might be the reocurring fight of my life? but man i need help.
no "i voted!" sticker? talk about disenfranchised fucking voter! i'm fucking heart broken about it! i feel like tearing some shit up! speaking of tearing shit up, right, so i voted. i voted badnarik for president. other than that i pulled levers pretty willy-nilly. well, not totally. my voting agenda (again, i'd like to caveat this with my two cents- DEMOCRACY IS A BAD IDEA!) was to vote for third parties. i hate bi-partisan politics. bi-carmel, okay; bi-partisen, for suckers. bi-caramel, awesome. so i mostly voted "working families," which basically means i voted democrat, i guess. but there weren't all that many things to vote about, or all that many options. i just am glad to toss my vote into the bucket saying "not democrat or republican!" oh, for like, some justices i voted democrat, since it was only offererd as dem. vs. rep. i figure- well, in legislation, both parties want to restrict your freedoms- bear arms, get married to a dude, whatever. but i feel like republican/conservative judges are most likely to try to make something illegal via the courts, where as democrats are more likely to be arch-permissive. anyhow, i hate that the courts are some side-legistlature these days, but i'd rather be allowed to do something than not allowed. oh, i'm babbling, sure, but the point is, for them i voted democrat. man i should start a fascist party.
i hate that people want the president to be the king.
now i'm going to go try to sneak up onto the roof.