its funny- sometimes i just neglect to mention this seething cauldron i've got inside me. i mean- things are going okay in the trenches. there is a little bit of general procrastination, but generally its a kind of "lemme at 'em" atmosphere. plus there is that girl, right? girls are always what break boys hearts, but mine is pretty swell. she laughed for about fifteen minutes after watching svetlana, russia's tempermental queen of gymnastics, make a crazy vault. so i guess i sort of feel like i ought to shut the fuck up. what the hell excuse do i have to be saying gut-wrenching things? but like always, i'm more influenced by my internal mythology than any outside event. & sometimes i reach right inside the hive & pull out handfuls of royal jelly.
a little coffee, a little rum. lets self medicate, says the bleak faerie! it hears the wings rushing in my heart, hears the locusts rising! it, mephit like, urges me to fit myself through keyholes, through the eyes of needles. i'm smoke! so the black god at my sternum falls silent! it is lulled again into quiesence. it maybe doesn't hurt that i am listening to the nightmare before christmas. there is something that billows up in jack's voice when he gets excited. jack, oh jack. halloween king & all smiles. he's so gosh darn swell.
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