||[Jul. 14th, 2004|12:08 am]
|||||modest mouse- custom concern||]|
so more & more terra becomes my very good friend. & thats quite alright with me; she's saavy & she's got fangs. tonight we went to the happy hour at the fat black pussycat & did some writing. or well, she wrote a letter & i wrote some mythology. though saying it now, saying mythology? sure makes me feel okay. i'm penning the tale of archibald & mortimer. archibald OR mortimer. woland is old scratch & mem lurks in the shadows like he knew how the whole thing with daphne would end up. anyhow, there were drinks, & drawings, & penned notes passed back & forth. there was a period of veils; secrets revealed & then hastily covered up again.
sarah is gone, & now its jenny & me again. i accidentally let slip a comment about my absolute terror. because, uh, its hard to live in a world where you have to accept that the one you love might not love you enough. but hard is what i am. hard like rasputin, like blackbeard. i have no complaints. jenny is the stuff of legends, & so i'll dare her fickle adoration with a grin & a sword. it isn't like i havn't had worse. oh, i've had worse. & shit, while we are keeping track, i've done far worse, to bystanders no less. who the fuck do you think i am, prince charming? i'm the prince of fucking darkness, assholes.
so uh, basically? i left jenny sleeping on the futon to come write this. i left with her asking me if it was okay if she read, after i threw that whole "i'm constantly stressed by the fact that you could leave at any moment." i mean, she threw her hat in the ring. she was willing to take a few lumberjack swings at that yggdrasil. which is all i'm asking for. i'm here without hurt in my heart. & i mean, the past few days? have been beautiful. its been all adulation & then sex when nightfall came. i'm hoping its more a reflection on us, then on sarah's visit. thats all.