April 28th, 2004


in which i talk about television.

the umbrella & big wheel bicycle reality of The Villiage is pretty fucking alluring. schizoid man is my favorite prisoner episode to date for being the most genuinely mind-fucking, though i'd respond quite diffrently if presented with my doppleganger. the first thing i'd tell him was my password, & if he was a brother, he'd tell me his. we m's have to stick together in a world of cold clay. are we not spirits of smokeless fire, of air & darkness? number 2 & number 2 & number 2. because thats the thing. i'd be happy to take the position of number two. as far as i see it, keeping your secrets in The Villiage requires becoming number 2.

my plans of coming home & being adorable pretty much failed, though more through quirks of chemical circumstance than any action. jenny was in her fussy, unnatural anxiety mood, & after watching the gilmore girls she'd taped for me, she took a shower & went into the bedroom to read. usual fare for when she's feeling down like this. i don't know what to do with her, & anything i suggest just causes her to snap at me. i'm not resentful, i'm just telling it like it is. she needs her space so i give it to her.

personally? i could use a drink. i could go to the deli & buy a 40oz, but what i really want is something stiff. if i hadn't wasted all that becherovka on romanticizing it, i could drink that. healing waters of the river lethe, or some such. my brain is all a-cauldron from this mornings coffee consumption, & i don't know what to do with it. to drink enough beer to get me to sleep would turn me into a drunken ass stumbling snoring to bed. classy, sure, but not my speed tonight. what i really need is a droid who understands the binary language of moisture 'vaporators. what i really need is a few stern shots of something that doesn't taste like cough syrup.
  • Current Music
    cmk feat. p. mcgoohan- be seeing you
blur shotgun

"i guess i hope i'll live forever (& never die & never grow old)"

so i've been lashing my mordicai-knot of a brain to the mast to resit the sirens. the problem with the lashing is that the resin soaked ends of the rope occasionally strike into jenny. i'm as tightly wound as an electromagnet & she's in the sargasso seas of her introspection & as anyone can tell you, industrial appliances & large bodies of water can be volatile. i need to take a chill pill & stop assuming everything is snapping jaw. she is not a venus fly trap, she is not a snap dragon. i too easily mistake acts as predatory, i too often ascribe my motives to the world. hyena, hyena, slinking your way about the carcass.
  • Current Music
    crown me king- HAVE YOU SEEN ME?