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mordicai caeli

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April 16th, 2004

i wish all these girls on campus would quit trying to give me blow jobs. [Apr. 16th, 2004|11:20 am]
mordicai caeli
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[Current Mood |*&]
[Current Music |@!]

this is the thesis of the girl typing on the computer next to mine: "the cloning of a human embryo would authorize the destruction of the human race in the name of science." to her i say, fuck you. fuck you, & have a second helping of it while you are at it. while you are up bitch get me a beer. man i feel so low today? but its a trick, a trap as admiral ackbar might say. i'm just fucking tired. my long suffering (but desperately unfucked) girlfriend made sure i got to class. oh i went to class alright. i sat there muttering to myself "am i even here?" why does she keep talking about my sexual equipment? lessons about the inominate can get fucking dirty, let me tell you. but they do have something to say about the honesty of evolution.

so hey, i remembered the group of people i want to hate. its those fuckers who wear shorts on the first day of spring. you know who i mean. those people who decide that they can wear shorts as long as some delusional person in a mental hospital might say its warm enough. i can't enthuse about my dislike properly, but you know who i mean. also, its never hot chicks who want to wear shorts, its always loser guys with ponytails. to these people i say fuck you. fuck you & fuck you & pass the ammunition.

last night my birthday celebration. david & peter from work. the lovely jenny (whom i did not fuck my entire birthday! cry travesty, you dogs of war!) & my dungeon master, michael. also the illscientist showed up. about the time i was drunk. i havn't been so drunk in public in a while! which is funny for me to say, because its a) probably a lie, & b) also probably not true. but yeah, we drank & bantered until i was like "okay dudes! its time for me to go HOME!" which i did. & then kept pulling condoms out of wrappers, even though nothing ever happened from it.

i wish my girlfriend would go on birth control. i get that seeing the gynocologist is a huge hassle, & they stick cold metal things in your pussy & all that. i get putting it off. but man, i'd sure like to not have to worry about babies. also, i wonder what its like to fuck her without a condom? i'd like to experiment whith that line of questioning. SCIENCE DEMANDS TESTABLE EXPERIMENTS! i don't know. man, all kinds of old white dudes might be trying to tell chicks whether they can kill their babies or not? but i get it, man. guys have no reproductive rights. as the "african-american fiction" book is titled, mommy's baby, daddy's maybe. we're just trying to look out for number one, ladies! don't be playa hatin'!

today i'm 25, & i still don't own a handgun.
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a girl like a coral reef. [Apr. 16th, 2004|02:38 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |raymond chandler.]
[Current Music |crown me king- the legless ghosts]

she stood there like a scarecrow, those sad sleepless eyes full of scorn & brimstone. her delicate, corrupt body was sheathed in a pearl studded flapper dress, but she was ready to be a bared blade at a moments notice. i sipped on my rye & took some small comfort in the violin case at my feet. anybody who tried to punch my clock would be chewing on a mouthful of lead from my chicago typewriter. so thats how things were. hard-boiled & poached, the two of us had some sort of mexican stand-off around the punch bowl, walzing around it getting glasses of spiked juice then going back to our seats & drinking the good hootch we each brought from home. i couldn't say i minded- she was easy on the eyes & the threat implied with the curl of those moist lips kept me on my toes. she was having similar thoughts about me in my pinstripes, you could tell, but neither of us was nibbling. that worm concealed a fish hook, make no mistake. this was supposed to be a bussiness killing, on both our parts. i like to think i was being paid to committ hari-kari on folk, letting them die with some dignity even if they didn't have the sense to wish it. my internal monolouge was rattling along at the same pace it always is- hate hate hate, that old chestnut. the whole evening felt like an iceberg floating silently towards a luxury liner so far, & that was fine by me.
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(no subject) [Apr. 16th, 2004|08:44 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |rise up!]
[Current Music |crown me king- rise up, antitribu]

i saw kill bill volume ii with jenny after class today. when bill points that revolver of his at her across the coffee table, it was like looking in the lincoln tunnel. man, now thats a gun i could have. my feelings on the film are positive- thanks for making a movie i want to watch, quentin tarantino. making watchable films is enjoyable. after the movie we ate at dojos. it was like there was a party in my mouth.

oh, the other day at work i leapt over the counter to chase down some hobo who had brazenly stolen a zane book. its nice to know that in actual practice, i am faster than people. i might not be winning any foot races, but in a dash across traffic, i do pretty well for myself. anyhow, we didn't even get the book back- david two came with me, & its a good thing, because i probably would have shook the guy down for it. touching strangers is assault. stupid fucking laws. stupid fucking laws.

i got the first issue of my dragon subscription in. i'm waffling on eberon- will it suck or will it be awesome? i just couldn't tell you. this issue is all dark sun, though, which is odd. i've never played in dark sun- it seems kinda insane. oh, & i figured out where my dislike for the 3.5 ruling that if you have a +1 or better base attack bonus, you can draw your weapon as a free action if it accompanies a move action. i've got a grudge against it because i always had a pain in the ass as chester kegtapper trying to get both blades drawn & in play, even with my quickdraw feat, whereas nobody else much bothered with weapons- they were always assumed to be in-hand. aw hell, thats a silly grudge to hold against a rule! although it just does seem kludged on.
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