yo ho ho, etc. et fucking cetra. et fucking cetacean, screaming your songs into the water. i mean, at 11:10 we're frustrated, liquor stores across new york closed in defiance of us. its a shaolin soccer kind of morning. by which i mean chris pays for me to see it. the smoke does rise up into a face of evil, you know? then scott & chris come back to my apartment. its like one in the afternoon now! liquor stores are open!
we drink wine & play risk. i win.
come home soon, i love you & i'm broken.
is it just me or does everyone eat croutons directly from the box?
by which i mean, there is no god in heaven, & this is all an argument between myself & the dweller on the threshold. i hope my sister gets knocked up & i have cool nieces. captain america is cooler than i'd like to admit. if spiderman lives in queens, who is brooklyn's superhero? i'd just like to know on account of i claim the title of brooklyn's villian. i'd just like to know.
is it just me? is it just me?
expect more of these drunken updates on the state of my mental health.
i love you jenny, but you are no johnny cash.
fuck i can't keep my rockstars straight. at least johnny cash & kurt cobain are both dead. there was a broken heart involved in one death. a shotgun. at least nobody was on team autoerotic asphyxiation. oh sigh. i only revel in death. i talk about people dying & sometimes its a mistake. i mean, john ritter isn't dead yet, right? its just my wishful thinking. i keep thinking he's dead because i want everybody to die. i want blood on the temple floor.
enter sweepstakes, die.
i can't stop laughing. i mean, i'm literally in stitches. i keep checking to make sure the door is locked. i don't want to be burglarized while i'm paralyzed with "the chuckles." i mean, i've got all these agendas. the i am might be the alpha & the omega. i'm just the mem & the omega. remember when the ouji board wouldn't stop saying "a-m-z" & kept talking about being afraid? that was your hand on the placard, erica. now you know what i am. now you know who i am.
i never honestly expected to be in love. i mean, growing up i made all kinds of lies. mostly on account of the fact that i never expected to be in love, right? & it was all very funny to me. i self identified as asexual because god-fucking-dammit. i would never stoop so low. & now i find that what i thought would lower me has actually fucking elevated me. shit, that girl, who we'll call jenny. what am i supposed to do about her? i've been in love with her for like, my entire adult life to date. this wasn't supposed to happen! i was gonna wind up dead by 23! she's messing up my plans!
being in love is like being punched in the stomach everymorning. its fucking hard. maybe its my fault that its hard? maybe a person would take all these pills & fucking love it. but i'm unused to mercy. it makes me feel soft, & i don't like it. if you gave me a choice maybe i would choose not to be in love. which kind of emphisises the point. i don't have a fucking choice. i'm in love whether i want to be or not. drag me to the bed kicking & screaming! shit, i'd do almost anything for that girl. that girl. look at me in ruins over that girl. jenny, be ozymandus & i promise your empire will never be forgotten.
fuck fuck fuck lets do drugs lets drink till we get to the bottom of the cup. damage damage damage, oh damage i'm enchanted by you but it turns out i'm invincible. i've got opera seats, i've got a black goat for sacrafice.
i'm taking the slow steps up the scaffold. oh boy oh boy. i'm wearing these pinstripes & you know what? you can't fucking stop me. i'll do a dance at the bottom of the rope & you can all talk about "my moves." i am fucking black i dance so well! take that kkk, if a white boy can dance like a black man, where is your racial superiority now? answer me that, grand wizard. ANSWER ME THAT.