|behold a pale horse, motherfucker.
||[Apr. 7th, 2004|04:05 am]
|||||anais nin, fuck you!||]|
|||||crown me king feat. andrew wk- are we excited yet?||]|
i can't stop laughing. i mean, i'm literally in stitches. i keep checking to make sure the door is locked. i don't want to be burglarized while i'm paralyzed with "the chuckles." i mean, i've got all these agendas. the i am might be the alpha & the omega. i'm just the mem & the omega. remember when the ouji board wouldn't stop saying "a-m-z" & kept talking about being afraid? that was your hand on the placard, erica. now you know what i am. now you know who i am.
i never honestly expected to be in love. i mean, growing up i made all kinds of lies. mostly on account of the fact that i never expected to be in love, right? & it was all very funny to me. i self identified as asexual because god-fucking-dammit. i would never stoop so low. & now i find that what i thought would lower me has actually fucking elevated me. shit, that girl, who we'll call jenny. what am i supposed to do about her? i've been in love with her for like, my entire adult life to date. this wasn't supposed to happen! i was gonna wind up dead by 23! she's messing up my plans!
being in love is like being punched in the stomach everymorning. its fucking hard. maybe its my fault that its hard? maybe a person would take all these pills & fucking love it. but i'm unused to mercy. it makes me feel soft, & i don't like it. if you gave me a choice maybe i would choose not to be in love. which kind of emphisises the point. i don't have a fucking choice. i'm in love whether i want to be or not. drag me to the bed kicking & screaming! shit, i'd do almost anything for that girl. that girl. look at me in ruins over that girl. jenny, be ozymandus & i promise your empire will never be forgotten.
fuck fuck fuck lets do drugs lets drink till we get to the bottom of the cup. damage damage damage, oh damage i'm enchanted by you but it turns out i'm invincible. i've got opera seats, i've got a black goat for sacrafice.