March 2nd, 2004

closeup samurai

sebastian & bianca dueled with pistols.

weird fucking halo of a day so far; scurrying about like a fucking vampire at sunrise trying to get to various classes. rise up out of bed like a tombstone, take a shower & collapse back into bed like skylab falling to earth. next thing you know i'm long striding my way up escalators trying to slide into nihongo. till i look at my fucking watch & realize i'm running an hour ahead of schedule. to tell the truth, i prefer blackouts & lost time- this fucking hour gained is messing with me. an extra hour of fucking life? unasked for. unwelcome.
  • Current Music
    crown me king feat. salman rushdie- fatwa
m-ouse ears.

choke on this, you fucker. you total fucker.

dear air traffic controler: please let all planes crash.
i want to adopt children from the third world & just fucking sacrafice them. except sacrafice implys that i have some greater goal in mind, some lovecraftian bit of buggery i want to drag forth from the other side of the sky. in truth, i just mean murder, i mean the messy destruction of something weaker than i am. no bullshit about innocence or purity, no glib lines about the crushing of potential or some such sludge. i want to kill something that can't even struggle. something so fragile i can't help but destroy it. drop the crown of its head, dash its brains out on cobble stones or asphalt. that & smacking bitches. word. shit, i just cheered myself the fuck up. now look at my grin & despair.

bad movies recently seen: freddy vs. jason, underworld, johnny english.
  • Current Music
    cmk feat. sam brown- red robot world domination
blur shotgun

wakai uchi wa, nan de mo heiki datta ga ne.

there is an insect within your spacesuit.

if you struggle, turn to page 13.
if you allow it to penetrate you, turn to page 27.

i feel like i am discovering all kinds of layers in exsistance. more than just that spectral phantasmagory i'm always walking through. sort of a psa "did you know" kind of life is what i've got, but of course its all fight clubed: did you know that kaiwa means both stairway & horror story? did you know that you can use sea gull feces for important ingrediants required to make gunpowder? etc. i suppose its the glow-worm thread that hangs it all together (like a noose? like an angel, keeps my feet off the ground?) it's laquer on the skull; the patina over things. the shape of a wasp hive built in zero-gee (0-g). it's this slip of a girl, right? what am i talking about? what the fuck am i talking about. organ grinders.

i've got this piece of broken glass for a soul, & its all i've got.
& if you get near me i'll cut you with it. i'll slice you to ribbons.
  • Current Music
    crown me king- civil war turncoat blues
goblin sneak

holy shit, i'm turning into an authentic cowboy.

turns out i have to get a physical before they'll let me into the gym here. here i thought all i had to do was muster up the motivation & i'd be sitting pretty. a school rent-a-cop told me i needed to go to a full on doctor (dr.) but i'm pretty sure i just need to see a school physician. once they look at my tongue to see if its got spots on it (it doesn't), then i'll be in & ready to get back to my fighting weight. though filling out the portion of the form i had to was pretty awesome: have you ever broken any bones? / have you ever had surgery? required an explanation, & it is pretty bad ass to be able to say that i've had facial reconstructive surgery. getting my skull shattered pans out in a raw, seething sexuality. or so i like to think.

i was promised snacks & drinks tonight at my pomo archeology class. innuendo was, there would be drink drinks. jackie o. style drinks. i do not know if someone was joking when they said this thing, but they had better not have been. cocktails are nothing to joke about. puppets you can joke about; a bar, dead babies, polish people, blondes, these are some things to joke about. a whole list for you to pick & choose from, you horrible taunting classmate. cancer, too. jesus saves for half damage. some things are funny; funny ha-ha, not funny like a mysterous thing that washes up on the beach.
  • Current Music
    cmk- "haunting of the gallows tree (freelance goblin dub)"
m-ouse ears.

(no subject)

i wonder if i'm the most excellent student ever sometimes. after today's prehistoric ecology class (which i should really call post-proceedural rather than post-modern, so the post-anything geeks can slaver over the semantics, whatev.) i gave the professor a thumbs-up & said "good class today. a+!" & he said "its talking about extinction. it always perks people up." to which i replied "mel brookes had his hat on straight, you know?" & his eyes lit up & he was like "yes. yes he did." plus today's class was totally awesome, higgsian vs. flanneryian site territory & catchment maps, geodesic vs. pheric distance, von thesisian polygons, all sorts of fucked up shit. & he kept calling inuits "skraelings." fuck!
  • Current Music
    crown me king- mahdi