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mordicai caeli

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March 2nd, 2004

sebastian & bianca dueled with pistols. [Mar. 2nd, 2004|12:00 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |a fucking acre of cesium.]
[Current Music |crown me king feat. salman rushdie- fatwa]

weird fucking halo of a day so far; scurrying about like a fucking vampire at sunrise trying to get to various classes. rise up out of bed like a tombstone, take a shower & collapse back into bed like skylab falling to earth. next thing you know i'm long striding my way up escalators trying to slide into nihongo. till i look at my fucking watch & realize i'm running an hour ahead of schedule. to tell the truth, i prefer blackouts & lost time- this fucking hour gained is messing with me. an extra hour of fucking life? unasked for. unwelcome.
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choke on this, you fucker. you total fucker. [Mar. 2nd, 2004|12:29 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |get your war on, gotham city.]
[Current Music |cmk feat. sam brown- red robot world domination]

dear air traffic controler: please let all planes crash.
i want to adopt children from the third world & just fucking sacrafice them. except sacrafice implys that i have some greater goal in mind, some lovecraftian bit of buggery i want to drag forth from the other side of the sky. in truth, i just mean murder, i mean the messy destruction of something weaker than i am. no bullshit about innocence or purity, no glib lines about the crushing of potential or some such sludge. i want to kill something that can't even struggle. something so fragile i can't help but destroy it. drop the crown of its head, dash its brains out on cobble stones or asphalt. that & smacking bitches. word. shit, i just cheered myself the fuck up. now look at my grin & despair.

bad movies recently seen: freddy vs. jason, underworld, johnny english.
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wakai uchi wa, nan de mo heiki datta ga ne. [Mar. 2nd, 2004|02:40 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |kaidan tea party.]
[Current Music |crown me king- civil war turncoat blues]

there is an insect within your spacesuit.

if you struggle, turn to page 13.
if you allow it to penetrate you, turn to page 27.

i feel like i am discovering all kinds of layers in exsistance. more than just that spectral phantasmagory i'm always walking through. sort of a psa "did you know" kind of life is what i've got, but of course its all fight clubed: did you know that kaiwa means both stairway & horror story? did you know that you can use sea gull feces for important ingrediants required to make gunpowder? etc. i suppose its the glow-worm thread that hangs it all together (like a noose? like an angel, keeps my feet off the ground?) it's laquer on the skull; the patina over things. the shape of a wasp hive built in zero-gee (0-g). it's this slip of a girl, right? what am i talking about? what the fuck am i talking about. organ grinders.

i've got this piece of broken glass for a soul, & its all i've got.
& if you get near me i'll cut you with it. i'll slice you to ribbons.
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holy shit, i'm turning into an authentic cowboy. [Mar. 2nd, 2004|04:46 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |praise for "the lemon"]
[Current Music |cmk- "haunting of the gallows tree (freelance goblin dub)"]

turns out i have to get a physical before they'll let me into the gym here. here i thought all i had to do was muster up the motivation & i'd be sitting pretty. a school rent-a-cop told me i needed to go to a full on doctor (dr.) but i'm pretty sure i just need to see a school physician. once they look at my tongue to see if its got spots on it (it doesn't), then i'll be in & ready to get back to my fighting weight. though filling out the portion of the form i had to was pretty awesome: have you ever broken any bones? / have you ever had surgery? required an explanation, & it is pretty bad ass to be able to say that i've had facial reconstructive surgery. getting my skull shattered pans out in a raw, seething sexuality. or so i like to think.

i was promised snacks & drinks tonight at my pomo archeology class. innuendo was, there would be drink drinks. jackie o. style drinks. i do not know if someone was joking when they said this thing, but they had better not have been. cocktails are nothing to joke about. puppets you can joke about; a bar, dead babies, polish people, blondes, these are some things to joke about. a whole list for you to pick & choose from, you horrible taunting classmate. cancer, too. jesus saves for half damage. some things are funny; funny ha-ha, not funny like a mysterous thing that washes up on the beach.
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(no subject) [Mar. 2nd, 2004|07:34 pm]
mordicai caeli
[Current Mood |avoiding packed train rides.]
[Current Music |crown me king- mahdi]

i wonder if i'm the most excellent student ever sometimes. after today's prehistoric ecology class (which i should really call post-proceedural rather than post-modern, so the post-anything geeks can slaver over the semantics, whatev.) i gave the professor a thumbs-up & said "good class today. a+!" & he said "its talking about extinction. it always perks people up." to which i replied "mel brookes had his hat on straight, you know?" & his eyes lit up & he was like "yes. yes he did." plus today's class was totally awesome, higgsian vs. flanneryian site territory & catchment maps, geodesic vs. pheric distance, von thesisian polygons, all sorts of fucked up shit. & he kept calling inuits "skraelings." fuck!
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