January 27th, 2004


(no subject)

the thing is, i write a lot about dnd. & sure its fluff. but when i build palaces for the dead in deserts, when i name the desert, when i send courts into exile to die in the sand with the corpse of their god-king? when i name cities Petekh because it means “overthrow” & the parliament of caliphs that sit there is just a double blind for robspierre’s terrors? when i do that the apartment shivers. i sink whole islands. just a little. i can retroactively create a utopia, & then i can annihilate it. just so. once there was Karn, once there was Atlantis, Mu, Hy-brasil. then waters rush in. there. just so. a fallen empire, a legend. bones littering the ocean floor. the ground splits. sometimes it closes in again, slowly. at the bottom of the chasm, corpses. everything abyssal. water, caverns. the wound opens & empties. even though the ocean comes in to fill it, there is that word abyss. empty.

hey & while i’m at it, here is heaven. i’ll call it ife. i’ll call it IFE, i’ll capitolize. the star at the center of every map i make. that old adage. if you put something into the middle of an infinite nothing, suddenly you have a center. okay good i’ve made a heaven. now leave it. take a hike. i’ll call the hike a hejira. i’ll kill most everybody along the way. i’ll kill all the best & the brightest & the darkest too.
now i’ll build them a kingdom. i’ll call it Magog. fear gog & magog & oh fear the teeth of the beast of empire. Tir na’Nog, fairyland, the tower of fucking Babel. wonder how that will hold up. wonder if that joint gets to succeed. oops i did it again. goodbye. but your relics change the flow of fucking gravity. as if there is any gravity. we’re all floating.

you can’t have gravity, because then the labyrinth crushes everything. its fine for antipala to wonder about load bearing walls but i’ve got to figure out why not. again with the stitching; the whole cloth darned with ley lines. & by darned i mean damned. thanks again you fucking ariadne bitch. i’ve written a very poetic letter to athena. she’s coming to turn you into a spider too. your fucking brother was born by the bull of gilgamesh fame. you & your theseus have a god’s dying curse on you. & anyhow he married your sister. how does it feel to have a family with bones of treachery?