okay so now i'm pretty solidly in the land of the damnned. which is to say the land of the bored. & don't give me any crap about only boring people are ever bored, because i'm a fucking prisoner in this broken flesh masque. which by the way i think makes me look worse now than ever. before i looked broken; now i look like an ogre. a cooped up monster. & to make matters worse my inner geek is getting his jones on for the players handbook 3.5 & maybe one other dnd book. like maybe that damn magic of faerun- as a player i didn't get its charm but as a dm i think i'm starting to see why kingtycoon recommended it to me. jenny got me lots of index cards- what i intend to do is write all the spells on a card & then start dealing them out into new spell lists. why is analyze dweomer such a high fucking level? why are fireball & lightning so accessable? i like dnd 3rd ed. alot, but we still have some serious depating of philosophies. nothing a little jiggering won't fix.
the thing is, now i can do something. just so long as it isn't much of something. like, don't people want to get together & play risk or do something low impact? like, i'm up to the challange of hanging out. i'm a juggernaut building back up to speed- who wants to help me throw coal in the fire while i get up to full speed?
the clandestine armistice of colour; the abandonment of prism & hue, of shade & shimmer. before anyone knew it, everything was a fetching fade, umbral & black. the deeps were the most unefected, the things there having long usurped the rods of their eyes for better fare. creche's of fiendish things, long concealed, came forth to new strife & bedevilment.
his name is elijah sandalphon. i'm mordacious schadenfreude. we are going to wrestle. cage match.
me & the incarnates, we're your idols. put us on your spaceships like plastic jesuses & we'll guide you home through hyperspace. slot me into your beatitudes, dudes. i'm the pineapple grenade in your sanctuary. i'll usurp all thrones. i'll not be bound by formulae & incantations & other galling hexes. placate me is more like it, with sacrament & sacrafice, or i rebuke & obliterate.
here is the truth of what happened to me. i traveled through time to 1943 where i was tortured. then i returned to this time in order to have the titanium put into my face in order to resist mind control rays. when the invasion by the children of another star comes, i will not be swayed. in 1945 america will drop atomic weapons on japan. i think i was tortured in korea- i challange archeologists to locate the special prison that was used. need further inpho; must ply girlfriend with sweetwords. my pillowtalk is full of candy conversation hearts! one time bjork fell in love with me- she is one freaky chick!
dear all gothy motherfuckers who play vampire: the masquerade (malkavian antitribu represent!) or generally like undead-on-undead dramaqueen action: it is not fucking cool to cry tears of blood. it is gross & you get little microscopic flakes of scabs on your face that don't show up till precisely the most disgusting time possible. also, when you dab it with a kleenex, instead of a wet, mostly clean kleenex, you get a bloody biohazard. so i suggest the path of death & the soul or the path of the scorched heart or something like that, just to save on your "ick" factor. seriously, i'm not fucking kidding, bleeding out of your eye is fucking sick.
luckily, i bleed & puss out of my eye! for extra sweet fucking trainspotting points. at least during the day my eye stays open- at night, this alchemical mixture of bodily fluid crusts me up like barnacles on a treasure chest. the kind of treasure chest where you would find it & say "fuck that, its covered in ochre jam/ooze/pudding/etc." yeah, actually, thats just what its like. its like i've taken my first fucking level in oozemaster or thrall of jubilex. & for good measure take 1d6 damage from my slam attack (titanium headbut). ps. sid cobweb fucking rules! metalheads are the wave of tommorows pcs! pps. how much does it cost to enchant my "faceplate of holding my skull together" & what sort of enchantments should i put on it? does it count as a helm, or what? & how does this effect my ability to use the eye of vecna?