July 21st, 2003

modern nazgul

(no subject)

disconcerting dreams under the latticework of twilight. the first dream i had was of a yellow school bus full of african bushmen all wearing bishop's mitres & singing nirvana. a more disconcerting dream was a sort of sitcom sex dream, where this girl & i melted into a puddle within seconds (00:00:00's) of meeting each other. the thing was, this had happened before, with her, identically- or so i knew in the dream. i kept quizing her on the situation, unable to tell if i was dreaming or could see the future. we snuck away to my room to have sex but then the next morning? the dream bubble popped & i realized that i had been duped- they she was my ex-girlfriend who had repeated our original courtship in order to trick me. at this point, i started to figure out that it was a dream, but here was the kicker: even after that point, i was still stuck in the dream. so for about an hour (1:00) i lay in bed asleep thinking that i'd cheated on jenny & all torn up about it. eventually i woke up & realized it was a dream, but my chest was still tight.

at one point i woke up to gunn confiding her problems in me, which was actually a very pleasent transition. i have been in bed all day. unpleasently dreaming in the heat. all i've listened to today is they might be giants & rasputina, though the cd i really wish i was listening to is in new york, along with, you know, all my aspirations for true love. i hate this part, where i can't sleep so i end up in bed all day trying to catch up with exhaustion. feeling like i'm trapped on the gravitron at a fair.
  • Current Music
    rasputina- "gingerbread coffin"
closeup samurai

rings tied in her hair.

lonely as the anghor wat, as the mermaid at the prow of a ship. spending all afternoon in an ouji board trance, immersed in folly. left like a porno mag at a playground. ho-hum. string together a few words to talk about this jonah's whale hollowness inside me. fee fie fo fum. sharks smell blood, & so does dorthy of oz. i also had a dream today about c.s. lewis the serial killer. & being forced to walk home in the always winter never christmas while wearing a t-shirt. a fucking band t-shirt no less. oh the humilation. for my next performance i'm going to dream of the tuatha de daanan coming to ireland in the mists of their burning ships. the nine o' clock (9:00) show is diffrent from the eleven o' clock (11:00) show. the faces of shrimp make me think of gobins in helmets. thats the talisman i'm going to take with me when i go back to bed. nothing can resist my goblin charm.
  • Current Mood
    (pig) iron (lung).
ringwraith

(no subject)

fun times with olaf prufer. he took a little break from the chipewa today ("lower the boom!") to rant about jesus king of buggery. first day of his class, & he's already hit stride. good for him. & we somehow ended up getting let out early even. i guess culture & personality is just his chance to get to talk about the more fucked up cultures in exsistance & the mental abberations that result from them. anyhow, my next class starts at noon (12:00pm), & it lasts a while, but i think demario is in it, so maybe i will sit near him & have company. well, i guess it only lasts an hour & fifty five minutes (1:55) so it isn't really all that long after all.
  • Current Mood
    mexican jumping bullets.
ringwraith

drunk as a thistle.

my fucking computer got soaked by the torrent of rain that occured while i was in class, & now the moniter won't work. i hope that it dries out & magically begins to function again. that would be pretty fucking copacetic. at least it turns out that both demario & eric are in my principals of thinking class. so that train might arrive on time. oh & jenny has fessed up to distance fed by worry. well maybe i worry too, so maybe distance is bad scene. least, thats what i say. but what do i know, i'm only the last surviving member of the black babylonian school of martial arts. i'm just the one guy remaining who can assume the hanging gardens stance.

i just hate that i'm being made to feel like my love is being taken for granted. or that i'm alone in this. because uh. alone is how i feel. my phone lies silent on its cradle, & all the rows of green beer bottles make empty kissing faces at me. each one drunk by somebody else. even when i'm with people i start nursing old grudges & thinking how much littler they are then they pretend to be. all scampering around on their doomed world.
  • Current Mood
    this aquarium tank i'm in.
ringwraith

(no subject)

i'm looking for this book. i've been trawling through memepool & portal of evil for the link that might have taken me there once upon a time, but to no avail. i can't even really remember much. it was mostly a picture book, with dance steps, & all sorts of strange things that might make me happy. all the words in it were in an indescipherable language. it was all really otherworldly. i feel like its name might have been like "crypto-" or "esoterica" or "principia" or something like that. if i recall correctly it was only available in europe & aw who am i kidding. i don't remember enough about it to be able to find it. i was just thinking about it, & thought that maybe writing down what i remembered might come out more coherently or jog some memories. turns out i was wrong.

oh, & i saw that ander's transhumanism page has been listed under "science-insane."

update: chaizilla has found it! codex seraphinianus.
  • Current Mood
    red chinese brain washing.