so maybe i have a drinking problem but maybe i have the lord of the rings dvds so it works out. like, why does everyone think its funny that i teared up when galadriel comes on stage? maybe you didn't notice, but that is fucking galadriel. she's fucking galadriel who's name ends like a godamn angel & what the fuck are you living your life for anyway? i want to make sandwiches that use other sauces than usual. i imagine people use ranch dressing in their lives more than i do. i have some of that spicey peanut sauce those hindus like so much. that gum you like is coming back in style. the best part about it is how i've been awake for fucking hours but wouldn't count myself in a game of heads up seven (7) up. no really. i used to have a livejournal but it got rabies. mostly i hate simile & enjoy metaphor? but today i don't even want to get within ten paces (shooting distance) of words. so i throw that useless like around. if i owned camoflauge i would wear that shit too.
i want to give everyone who ever fucked me over a bullet in the face (enjoy!) but i am trying to sober up so you might imagine that you won't be shot. you fucking shit. i will shoot you one day. i will shoot everybody. i want to end the fucking world, unravel it & we will all have our heaven again. you don't own yarn. you don't own yarn & you couldn't impress me on your best day. i've never had a good day & i consistantly make everyone love me. but um. everyone also likes to slow down on the highway & crane their necks when there is a crash. so don't think i'm wearing this hospital gown just for the hell of it.
i'll point out that the index of the silmarillion lists galadriel as one of the leaders of the noldori's rebellion against the valar. i'll point that out. galadriel does not take grief from pointless demigods. she would never listen to eighties (80's) music, as she is far too classy. her eyes sparkle with christmas lights. she is my substitute for porcelin safety. i'm not locket in a casket shaped bathroom. i wish i could talk to jenny somehow but i know there isn't any point to emailing her or anything. my fucking black bile spleen is rising up against me. doesn't anybody understand that i'm the fucking boss?!
amiga computer systems in suspension following daring government attack! remember that time steve jackson games was attacked by the fbi because they made the game cyberpunk? that was fucking great. fucking awesome. snapdragons forever. beezlebub hip-hop from coast to coast, ghost to ghost! bees to wasps! a bee might make honey, but a wasp is just the king of hate. see i've already waited too long, etc. you shut you mouth, etc. how can you say, etc. i go about things the wrong way etc. then there is clowns. lots of explosions. circus music, stockings & garters! i'll be a christmas choir for jenny if it will get me laid. these past few days i've been extra intrested in getting laid. & there have been cannons. canons. one of those two things. fuck being friends, lets play pictionary.
smashing up our apartment makes me feel better. BREAK! also, calling my roomate "homie" & having him laugh & show me funny parts of the apartment that we forgot we'd broken. oh, also, we have an ironing board for a kitchen table! aw, snap. this is what my roomate says: "its, uh...pumpkin king! oh wait! its the royal tenebaums! even better!" & then i say "aw snap." shit, i have to go throw things until they stop being in one piece. then i will maybe play video games. its cool when i don't have to do anything until four post-meridian (4 pm). oh also there is a dumpster filled with toilets about ten feet (10') from my door. an actual dumpster filled with toilets. one time they tore down a bank, which i saw, & then only the vault was left, because thats the way a vault works. it was so amazingly great & good.
i'm all a heart-ache this afternoon for jenny. when i was feeling crummy, she called chipotle on her cell phone & tried to convince them to deliver a burrito to me at my apartment, all in secret. like, i've insides of steel machinary, but the sawdust filled heart the wizard gave me in in her hands. even if i'm a total effing psycho who gets twisted up inside when she posts exerpts from email corrospondences with her ex. i'm very childish sometimes, but i know it so i try not to let the tetnus spread. i mean, man, if i did actually count it as a problem that would be a pretty huge double standard. oh i'm just banging my hands against the keyboard.