June 12th, 2003

goblin sneak

today is the day i start speaking in binary.

questions from jjjiii
OK, this first one is a multi-parter...

1) Your prose is very metaphorical and oblique when it comes to referring to stuff in a recognizable sort of context. Do you have some kind of problem dealing with reality on a concrete, literal level? Does it not matter to you that the average reader probably has little to no idea what you're talking about at any given moment? Do you think you're an artist or something? Do you jus t get off on being such an enigma?

the thing is, that is maybe part of the livejournal experiance that i'm not shooting for; the idea of reader comprehension. i mean, i'm obviously putting it on the internet, but what i'm going for here is a feeling of being let in on the secret. what i mean is; i am writing in my diary & letting people read it, as opposed to putting notes into bottles & chucking them into the ocean.

that said, alot of my diary is intellectual masturbation. some words go together in a way i like, & they say what i want them to say, so i put them down. i mean, i'd rather watercolour the day together here than have more definate pencil strokes. trying to capture my personal state at the given moment is better for me than just listing events blandly.

edit: also, yes, i do have problems dealing with reality.

2) What do you think is important for someone else to know about you in order to be able to say that they know you?

to basically get the joke underneath the villiany. which is a salad of alienation, loneliness, & a perchant for doing cruel things. assholes are feckless about things, its all superficial. i'm an asshole to the core. though i do have my shining moments here & there, they more set my interior into stark relief than redeem, dig? i mean, the joke is that i don't really think i'm bad, or that there is a bad. but i know that most other people would say i am.

3) What's something that you haven't yet done with your life that you think is important that you do by the time it's over? How about by the time you're 30?

the problem here is that i don't have a sense of my own mortality. even the idea of turning thirty is difficult to consider. i don't know if i have goals like that. mostly my goals for life are difficult & unteneable.

4) How would you fix the health care system in this country?

what do you mean by fix? i don't have expectations of it, really. as i understand it the lack of universalized health care (which would presumably be a goal? i wouldn't be sure it would be one of mine, though) is due to american spending neccisary in order to remain the global hegemon. but what would i do with health care? probably make it more pervasive & invasive. i think my political leanings tend either towards the dissolution of government as humans get post-human or the other. avatar_x said that humans need to end their primitive tribal disctinctions; i agree, but i doubt he would agree with the methods i think are neccisary to enact that. to break tribalism, you need to break the family. instill the loyalty of selfish genes on a broader pool. i would probably give people the right to basic eugenics; that is, the right to select a mate. but i wouldn't give them the right to children. or to raising children. if you are selected to breed, your children are going to go to the communal facilities.

so health care, at least among youth, would be paid for by a pool of taxes, i think. amongst the adult populance, it is hard to think of. i suppose it would depend on the irreplacability of your occupation to society, coupled with your competancy at that function. which isn't to say i'd just privilage the intellectual elite; a skilled technician or craftman is worth more than i think they are imagined to these days. in fact, if anything the white collar blue collar line would be further smudged. an office worker vs. a factory worker for who is more replacable is sort of a moot contest, you know?

i'd probably also have health care & taxation privilages for those willing to work on progressive agendas that are not yet classically profitable. space exploration, for example. i don't know. i might be convinced to allow corportate fuedalism too, if you left me to it, though that would probably be kept in line since corporate fuedalism leads to balkanization before any possible monopoly. though that might be fun to watch.

5) You are given the go ahead to put together a television show that is guaranteed to be picked up by one of the major networks, and you have exclusive control over the project -- no matter what, no one can pull the plug on the project, although certainly anyone who wants to can feel free to not tune in if they don't like it. What is the show?

this is a toughie. i've thought about pitches for television shows before, because who hasn't, but those were all based on gimmicks. i even helped my friend put together a pitch for animated series back when he was at the new york school of visual arts. that was called "villian" & was about a little boy named cain who's dad lived in a secret evil lair on the moon & who's mom was a bond villian chick.

i'm thinking about the television shows i would be influenced by, & the obvious first too are twin peaks & the x-files. i mean, sure i'm all about buffy, but i wouldn't make a show at all like it, which was part of the charm maybe. now, my problems with x-files (besides the fact that, you know, it should have ended long before it did) is that it is at heart episodic, & not serial. i couldn't help but run a show focused on a story line. my problem with twin peaks is that i couldn't do exactly that, since it is lynch's schtick.

so lets say my show is the juxtaposition between the weird & the incomprehensible. the main cast of characters are all "in on it," by which i mean they are all intrested in the occult in one respect or another. & so they engage in their pursuit of various phenomenon. but every so often, what they come across is that sort of teeth on edge beautiful of lynch's black lodge. basically the characters are competant, but rattled. or you know, not like that at all. its hard to think about it.

megaspav interviewed me.
1. If Chipotle were to disappear tomorrow, what would you do? (and it never comes back)

the thing is, for me chipotle is an endangered species. they don't have it in new york, where i'm going. but thats really okay. i don't need chipotle. but god fucking damn i like chipotle a whole lot.

2. The ultimate enhancement. Using the genius that is Sid Cobbwebb explain the greatest enhancement he could come up with. Something that would more benefit him than the 100 worlds. It can be mental or physical, your choice.

well, right? thats what he's going for. the soul. the discreet spiritual entity. that, in one fell swoop, puts him on metaphysical par with the dragons & above the shoulders of spirits & demons.

3. What does love mean to you?

man, i hate this question. i never know what to say to it. i think love, or at least, my earliest conceptions of love, revolved around absence. the idea that something was missing, which implied that something belonged. i think that is still the groundwork for it, but at this point i've extrapolated it towards the belonging.

4. What are the two most important things that you identi fy with your ideal mate?

another hard question. i would have to say that one of them is the ability to contend with me. the inferior thing is a bad scene with me. the second trait i would have to select would be the ability to convince me, irrationally, of her own exsistance. i have to be willing to say "okay, this one. this girl has got to be real."

5. What do you consider 3-5 aspects of a well run RPG campaign? Choose 3-5 3 if they're really long, 5 if they're short

the first, an engaging world. you have to be able to invent a place that i'm going to be enjoying imaging about. its pretty simple, but its still important, & not all that easy to do.
the second is the ability to not break suspension of disbelief. when events occur that railroad players or don't allow certain actions for no good reason, a game is ruined. third, i'll say points out that these are in no particular order. players. you need good players. other players need good players. fourth, the dungeon master needs to know whats going on. even if the players aren't causing it, things are happening. lastly, well-realized npcs help alot. especially npcs that arn't push overs. this helps the players think of themselves as just guys, & not powerful game pieces.
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