mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli
mordicai

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Sparklevamps Versus Sharkpires.



Yesterday was a nice little Date Day for me & Jenny. First thing, we threw away the Yule Tree, ye olde tannenbaum, & straightened up around the apartment a bit. The internet was on the blink & I was grinding my teeth! Jenny cooked us up some lunch & that helped sooth the black void of minor inconvenience born rage. Feel the fire power of this full armed & operational First World problem! We headed over to the movie theater & we saw the new Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn, Part One. So, I'm weirdly often put into a position where I have to defend Twilight. I mean, don't get me wrong-- they are bad books with a bad message! I'm with you there, but that isn't what people condemn. In fact, the stuff people gripe about is...well, wrong. "Real vampires don't sparkle!" is stupid. Anne Rice's vampires literally sparkle. There isn't a cogent vampire mythos. There just isn't. That is a key point to keep in mind, & Meyer taking the legend & bringing something new to it? That isn't bad, that is what writers do. Then of course there is the whole misogynist undercurrent whenever people complain about Twilight fans "ruining" a comic convention or a genre of fiction. Yes, we get it, contact with the feminine taints sometime irrevocably, yes, sure; our culture has messed up notions about gender alright. The books ain't good! There is plenty there to go after.

Like-- oh, how about the horrible racist underpinnings of the books! There is another part in this movie where a servant class of brown people are magical. Oh, you non-Aryans with your quaint superstitions, you really are closer to nature after all, aren't you? Ugh. The Native American thing is at least somewhat mollified in the films by having cast tons of actual Native American actors. Anyhow, lets see. The Nightmare Wedding was awesome. The regular wedding was fine. The sex was fun, too-- Bella in all her skimpy nightgowns & such-- but that was when Edward became unbearable. He was fine for a while, but then he got all terrible again. Jacob is terrible the whole movie. The CGI for Bella's illness-pregnancy was...distressingly good. Like, she seriously looked like a Holocaust survivor, it was...it was really spooky. It wasn't played for laughs & it didn't have some messed up eating disorder connection to it, so it wasn't offensive but it was...it was really convincing, like, scary. The plotline with her pregnancy is surprisingly Pro-Choice-- I mean, sure Bella wants to keep the fetus, but the word "choice" is bandied around a lot, as is the existence of an alternative. Oh, Alice, I liked her, but then, I should say that I like her haircut. Quirky girls with short dark hair! Speaking of CGI, though, the fights were really good! Which isn't surprising, since the fights in the previous films have all been really well choreographed. & the werewolves-- their whole pack dynamics & alpha stare-&-snarl-downs were well handled. If it wasn't for the three main characters being contemptible, these might actually be decent movies.
Tags: movies, twilight
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