mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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Hum, said the monolith.

One thing I get to enjoy while Jenny is gone is sitting here in the dark. She teases me about it; if she comes home after me, I'll be sitting in the dark, lit up only by the bulb of the television, or a corpse candle, or something doom & gloomy like that. Now I get to soak up the night time! Though I'm not sure this wine I'm drinking is working-- I feel like it isn't. I am in solidarity with my wife! Drinking little minibar sized bottles. Still, I am not quite feeling that sadbad disconnect; you know me. I only want to court the echo of the canyon. I'm happy to marry the sexy librarian who pulls me from the brink of reckless hate & nihilism, but the country of roiling malice & the nothing-urge is just over yonder. Never far from my heart. Sweep up the organ music son, & daughter, get your fingers on the harpsichord! I've been consoled but I'm inconsolable. They call that shit a koan. Holler at your boy. Okay, you know, instead of waiting here for some crooked dream to descend on me like a helmet, I think I'm going to put on some singing songs, & then turn in to bed. Filled with a raw piece of nightmare but no blood. I'm not just some hemorrhaging prince anymore; I'm the boss of this wreck. Gunners, free fire!

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