mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli
mordicai

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25 is a lot.

1. I have three titanium plates in my skull from getting clobbered with brass knuckles (or maybe a brick). Sometimes it bums be out that wearing glasses is actually more cybernetic than having osseointegrated bone lacing, though.

2. I'm obsessed with having knives for hands, hands of knives. I think about it alot, & I think about having extra arms just so those could have knives for hands, too. In my head, I call this "the glass spider." I think about glass spiders all the time, & it is the same as thinking about hands of knives.

3. Whenever I get hungover, I watch clips from The NeverEnding Story & think about it, HARD. That part where the Childlike Empress breaks the fourth wall & starts crying is probably the only good part of cinema. Okay, there is: the Blue Angel from Fire Walk With Me & the whole of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Other than that though. Oh, I also really like UNICO when I'm hungover. UNICO!!!

4. Superman as the agent of the monomyth is really compelling, & possibly the greatest story of the last century. Also, Superman as a metaphor for alienation is such a clincher. A lot of people don't understand Superman-- only Lex Luthor & Batman do. Batman is the shaman, Superman is the demigod. If I was to write a pastiche-- maybe I will, so there-- I'd call them Star God & Dark Man.

5. I have a long running roleplaying campaign called Oubliette. The level of ridiculousness ebbs & flows, but more & more I think I like putting crazy things in & then making them plausible. The city they are based in now is basically made from fiberoptic crystal, & I like to shout "Infernum Majestika!" a lot. Pidgin Latin, Pidgin Sanscrit, Pidgin Hebrew, PIDGEON PIGEON.

6. Adolescence is not a suitable way! It took me a while to sort that out. Being a boy was great-- I was a Prince! & being an adult is also great-- I am a Warlock! My teenage & early twenties were all about being a Blackguard, which I still am-- all these shirts are mine to wear-- but it wasn't until I incorporated these into a Unity that I got it together. I thought I would be Peter Pan about it, but it turns out you can just be Captain Hook, too?

7. I wrote my wedding vows in my roleplaying notebook. In them I talk about nihilism & solipsism, & basically nobody thought that was odd at my wedding. This is the wedding with tiny little DnD miniatures for place settings. Also, there was a reading from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, & then I took Jenny's green ribbon off. Basically I'm saying that my wedding was awesome-- getting married is a smart idea if you can stand to be in love.

8. So being in love! I mean-- I figured it would happen, because magical things happen to me. Still, I have to say, ta-da! Love. It isn't so hard! Okay, I basically had to make like Captain Ahab-- I made all my harpooners come in & then I used their blood to forge a harpoon-- but then I got to be tied to the White Whale forever. My trick, the final ingredient of my spell? Was being excellent.

9. It is funny the things I take for granted. Like-- maybe I should say: I'm only about a third. Like, there are missing pieces. Dead twins or something. Absent. Abandoned. That is the dull ache that I rub my tongue around, like a hole in my gums.

10. The City! I am enchanted by The City as an archetypal thing; I wanted to be in New York but to me it is Metropolis, Gotham, Babel, Enoch. I want to dissolve into it like sugar in coffee & then sludge at the bottom of the cup. I want to walk through people like royalty. Oh the city. I do wish it was the Ant's City or the Bee's City & not the Ape's, but the future is coming & the Machine's City should be okay (almost there!)

11. Oh here are some other things I really like: Yorda from ICO. That girl made of light broke my gosh darn heart, & she still does. I guess she matches with the Childlike Empress huh? Oh pale girls, pull out your glass knives! Gary Morbriar! Oh let me-- how can I explain? Gary Morbriar-- you can tell Kingtycoon is my pal because he knows Gary Morbriar-- in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle roleplaying game-- which is amazing character generation rules-- the way time travel works is-- um, okay. Gary Morbriar is a mutant fox who is your friend, in the future, & is the crux of predestination paradoxes & is the most creepy, haunting character in all of fiction. Just so.

12. Jack Kirby was speaking in a code; he was the Master. Grant Morrison & Alan Moore know-- they know, & they Know-- that Kirby was King. Jack Kirby was trying desperately to tell the world the secret history of everything, & he fought of a gang once, on his rooftop. Jack Kirby-- the ping of Motherbox, the Anti-Life Equation, the Celestials, all of it.

13. I like alchemy. A bunch. Do I like it more than I like goetic lists of princes & presidents, seals & names? That is a trickier wicket! Sometimes I like to run my fingers down the pages, & think about it.

14. I was taking notes a few years ago to write my Great American Novel-- or the Great New York Novel really-- & in the process of creating Theodore Roosevelt Who Is Called Apollyon & the like, I hit upon genius-- Captain Gregory Edward Rasputin Teach. Like Rasputin & Blackbeard are the SAME GUY.

15. I call where I grew up The Wastelands. First-- I grew up personally in a pretty suburban experience. The Psychological Wasteland-- it'll mess you up! I don't care about any of the people of my household-- unimportant to all stories. The place itself was pretty barren, being a collapsed industrial hub that was converted to suburbs. So my youth had lots of petty breaking & entering, & arson, & all that sort of nonsense.

16. I'm pretty needy! I need attention all the time. I like to bury my face in Jenny's skirts! Yeah, basically I'm like a three year old. I try not to let it get obnoxious-- it kind of balances out because I don't think anybody besides myself is real.

17. I think the only reasonable basis for interpersonal ethics is reciprocity. It can be infinitely postponed, but the basics of the rule of law are that it comes back to you. I'm not interested in animals for this same reason. I also worry about the ape in humans-- the tribe. I can't decide if I think government should be restructured to take advantage of the tribe-chemicals & architecture in the human brain, or if I think it should try to force humans to get out of tribalism. Wait, I can decide, I prefer the latter-- I choose tomorrow.

18. The thing I'm interested in on a metaphysical level is the Other. The Self is a bad joke, right? Your identity isn't a real thing, there is no such thing as the individual. The World is not solid enough to care about-- fleeting speck of perception, right? I like Science as a tool to hammer at it-- I think it is the right tool. The Other though-- that is a Cosmic Cow you can milk!

19. In college I majored in Anthropology, with a concentration in Forensics. What that boils down to is your usual anthro stuff, but with the occasional fake crime scene with rotting pigs, & the occasional human dissection. The room in the lab where I worked, defleshing bones? Was filled with jar babies. Still born stuff, from like a carnival freakshow. These days the anthropology I get into is feminist or generalist, as a rule.

20. My imaginary band is Crown Me King. I have other imaginary bands-- Housewives of Necessity, Polaroids of Sad Cardigans, Loch Ness Family Orchestra. If I ever start a publishing imprint or whatever, I'll probably call it Crown Me King.

21. I only wear black. It is an affectation. It is MY affectation, & I like it. I like to make my image & icon match what I want it to be-- it is a thing I can do. I'm not a recovered goth-- more like a recovered alterna-kid-- the monsters & vampires & stuff come from pure bred geekery.

22. Here is another thing I like-- Commedia Dell'arte. In specific I'm really into the Harlequin character. Oh come on, I'm really into Clownish Soldiers, I'm really into Wounded Queens-- think, Fisher-- & I'm really into a certain kind of girl. See above re: Yorda & Moonchild. This is in a sort of horrid, avuncular way. I'm such a creep.

23. The kind of Boy Scout I was was weirdly post-apocalyptic. I mean-- I think a lot of us were. Scouts. It wasn't about charity, it was about living in the woods, frozen for a week, & shooting guns. Shooting bows. Making bows to then shoot. Starting fires. Hiding in the dark. I have a pretty comprehensive end of the world education.

24. It just seems LOGICAL to me: if there is objective truth, that truth is true regardless of position in space-time, right? It can neither be created or destroyed. If, I'm saying. & if you want to make a true argument-- not an inductive one, a deductive one-- you'll need an infinite number of tests to the theory, right? I'm a Bayesian enough to say so. SO what I'm saying is-- the only way we'll get a reasonable answer to any of these questions is complete universal annihilation. I've got plans in the works.

25. Jenny & I are going to try to make a baby this year. I'm really hoping for a girl-- we'll name her Antigone & she will be sweet. If it is a boy-- Edward Hyde-- I'll probably be a jerk to him! Or so I keep saying. I know people with sons though, & they are alright.
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