feeling a little bit better. since we got home, we've been alternatingly crazy; on monday it was me, just full of gibbering mouthers, & yesterday it was her, full of...whatever jenny gets full of? sour crabapples! some of it is just the shock of responsibilities after soaking in none for so long, sure. for me, there is also just a sick cloud of cotton candy pink over my head. spurred on by being busy before leaving & on vacation when gone, i guess-- gestated & then fermented, you could say. i'm better now, or on a better train track at least. partly i was stressed because, you know, i need a real, grown-up life. & i have just been treading stupid water on it. but was sinking a little for a minute there. i started sending out more resumes though, which makes me feel better. i still feel terrible, but at least i'm not, you know, powerless. just ineffectual. yay. & then two weeks of beer & no gym was making me feel pretty disgusted with my flesh suit, my meat mecha. anyhow, a nice clip at the ymca last night. so the ship is being righted, tacked to the wind. gather my forces, my dweomers returning to full potency. edit: when i mentioned jenny being fussy, i meant to bring up the fact that: i cooked dinner last night! despite scoffing to antonio (on the phone) that i never cook. jenny was too much of a fuss to decide what to cook, so i bought what i wanted at the grocers, & then she was still too much of a fuss, too much to cook! so i made steak & couscous & brussel sprouts. i used too much salt, but still.