eventually doing this in bite sized chunks had to lead to talking about the ceremony itself, & now that we have matt's photos, we've reached that point. jenny's watchwords for me were "emotionally present," which is impossible for me, so i decided to interpret that as "say true things." since it made everyone cry, i don't think you can say i didn't do a good job. from what i've seen on television sitcoms that makes it a successful wedding.
for the record, here is a transcript of the ceremony.
once the difficulties with jenny's dress were sorted out & the cocktail hour had concluded, the ceremony itself began to get underway. due to the aforementioned difficulties with the dress, we hadn't had a chance to block the ceremony, or rehearse it, so it was time to improvise! it began with jenny & myself walking down a gauntlet of the guests, with them all handing her flowers.
jenny's mother officiated the ceremony, & here is a picture of us while it was going on. note the green ribbon. at one point, jenny's father read from scary stories to tell in the dark:
The Green Ribbon by Alvin Schwartz
"Once there was a girl named Jenny. She was like all the other girls, except for one thing. She always wore a green ribbon around her neck. There was a boy named Alfred in her class. Alfred liked Jenny, and Jenny liked Alfred. One day he asked her, "why do you wear that ribbon all the time?" "I cannot tell you," said Jenny. But Alfred kept asking, "Why do you wear it?" And Jenny would say, "It is not important." Jenny and Alfred grew up and fell in love. One day they got married. After their wedding, Alfred said, "Now that we're married, you must tell me about the green ribbon." "You still must wait," said Jenny. I will tell you when the right time comes." Years passed. Alfred and Jenny grew old. One day Jenny became very sick. The doctor told her she was dying. Jenny called Alfred to her side. "Alfred," she said, "now I can tell you about the green ribbon. Untie it, and you will see why I could not tell you before." Slowly and carefully, Alfred untied the ribbon, and Jenny's head fell off."
& i took off the ribbon & tied it around her flowers. it was a one-two punch! first, the laughing, then the crying!
also during the ceremony, there was a poem about a spider & jenny's mother quoted hedwig & the angry inch.
i mentioned the dark & terrible secret of my wardrobe & you can see it here: my vest was by juicy couture!
then i said my vows:
"I always wanted to be in love. I didn’t expect to be—my philosophy ranges from solipsism at best to nihilism at worst, but is more often in a middle world, populated by terrible angels, & confusion, & shadows.
You found me in the labyrinth. You fixed me when I was broken—in fact, you broke me into a million pieces, put me back together again, & I was the better for it. You demanded a place in my mythology, & my personal pantheon demanded you be in it as well. You are greater than the sum of your parts, & the sum of your parts is priceless. You are my conscience. I need you & I love you.
When I wake up, I wake up next to you. & that is what getting married is. Waking up. Next to you. You don’t complete a missing piece of me; you are a new part of something else. Of us. You & me is the start of we. & that will be an awfully big adventure."
& then she said her vows:
"Before I even met you, I thought I knew who you were and what to expect. But like most people, I underestimated you. Because while it’s true that you’re an evil genius and a huge geek, you’re also secretly fun and sweet and thoughtful. And now we’ve both transformed so that you’re the only person I can imagine standing up here with, the only person I’d want to watch television with, and the only person who would tuck me into bed every night.
Face, I love you for loving me even when I’m being a fussy brat, but I love you even more for the times when you can tell I’m being a bigger person than comes naturally to me. I love the way you look at me when you get home from work, and the way you give me the time I need to myself before wanting my attention.
I love you for fighting for us, and never giving up on this. I love you for fighting for me and protecting me when the world has gotten to scary.
You accept me, but you push me. And I will solemnly swear, make blood oaths and promise to keep doing the same for you.
Because together we’re unstoppable, and I think this is gonna be awesome."
then we exchanged rings.
then we were presented as husband & wife (no one liked my idea of "wife & were")
& then we kissed.