Music:crown me king- tumbleweed & dustdevil all about the town
mood is black. easily traceable to the unsynched lives of jenny & myself. just hasn't been happening. i come home too late & she's already turned off. bah! guts spilling out, inky blood everywhere, heart sinking into my stomach. she goes out & stays out. trains, iron fury & firey furnaced, passing in the night. boats, destroyers, wide cannons & armoured hulls, slipping past each other in the waves. not to mention the general creeping stress, & the specific tensions of throwing myself on the mercies of the faceless authority. & the selling of myself, which isn't going as well as i wish it was. i'm fish hooks & ribbons, barbs sunk deep into my organs & threaded out clever incissions, throat always closed, lungs always faltering. this isn't the greatest time. this is the clenched fist. the silver chair & chains. my elfish self is swollen up into an ogre, spider lethargic in a dirty, dusty web. bad runes on the standing stones. i've got to change my luck.