mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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the golden compass.

i talked about how stoked i was for the golden compass to come out, & thanks to jenny nabbing us free passes & david & i waiting in the polar cold, we got into an advance screening last night. worth every second. don't believe anyone who says this movie isn't good: this movie is great. seriously, what the hell, reviewers? anyhow, the movie isn't without serious flaws, but i don't care at all. this movie flew along at a breakneck pace, totally relentlessly jammed packed with "happenings." if i didn't already know the plot i might have felt rushed, but as it stands, i was happy to be along for the ride. the crashing musical ride. it was very noisy! i liked that. the breakdown:

10/10 for fighting armored bears. you might have been wondering, "mordicai," you'd say, "mordicai, are there enough armored fighting bears?" & i'd have to reply, "well, sweetmeats, there can't ever really be enough. but in that bears are literally, without any exaggerations, ripping each other's faces off then kind of yes." & you know, killing killing killing, nearly without cease. the downside of this is bad cgi "bear-riding" scenes, but whatever.

5/10 for not letting me forget that "alethiometer" means "golden compass." seriously, everytime somebody fucking talks about this thing, they append it with a little parenthetical aside "also known as...the golden compass!" & it is kind of annoying. double points off for stupid special effects when lyra uses it; all sparkly golden dream sequence bullshit. i don't care for it, no sir! especially not as that isn't even what it means.

11/10 for lyra silvertongue. i mean, for a minute at the beginning you get the chills-- what if they just make lyra a precocious, bratty, passive-aggressive cipher? i mean, most kids movies have those protags. lyra really comes into her own, though, all fucking glaring at gyptians "what're you looking at?" & spitting at tartars & convincing the bear king all kinds of crazy shit. she's fucking great, all blowing shit up & whatever. note: this includes the -5 penalty for the shitty kate bush song (sorry scythrop!) oh, & the rest of the cast is pretty cool, too. i like swanky shit like that.

8/10 for rape monkeys. the most disturbing thing in his dark materials is mrs. coulter's golden rape monkey. nobody else liked it, but i did, what with it all being a creepy gripping, petting menace. brr! plus, the bit with mrs. coulter giving it a smack? man, that is one muxed up dame! so spooky. i liked it, what about you?

34/40 on the "totally made up on the spot" scale. i'd say you should read these, see these, digest these in any form possible. because, see, & here is the thing: they're all about killing god. which is funnily enough one of my favorite ambitions of all! also: i maybe don't care if films are sort of "visual appendices" to the book. you get to have all the high points hit for you. the "de-churched" neutering isn't offensive; they just never call the magisterium the church, even though it clearly is. so fret not, my munchkins!
Tags: art, movies

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