Music:crown me king- bud & lou, a joker's best friends
the panserbjorn are coming.
speaking of universal archetypes that can serve all of fiction, how sweet are the panserbjorn. i mean, how fucking incredibly awesome are they? i don't want to spoil the surprise for you, but they are armored bears...who sometimes fight each other. sometimes, they fight angels. sometimes. they keep their souls in their armor. or wait, that isn't right. their armor is their souls. like a witch's familiar. or, you know, anybody's dæmon. you know what the armor is made out of? no, for real, do you want to know? meteoric iron okay, so to give you the rundown. they are giant bears. polar bears, which anybody will tell you are the best kind of bear. fuck grizzly bears! polar bears are the real fucking deal. even grizzly bears would be the greatest ursine exemplars...if they wore armor. made from space rocks. for their souls. to kill angels. okay, that is what a panserbjorn is into. &, i don't want to freak anybody out, but they are real! in my shriveled, black, lightning-struck heart they are. i wrestled with how to adapt them without just stealing them. in my dnd game, i took a nod to africa & came up with the qora, who are armored hyenas. i made them pretty appalling, you know; gave them pseudothumbs (like the panda, who have a lot of mysterious qualities), & then had them scavenge through battlefields, grafting armor onto their bones, stapling it onto their skin. you know, all cobbled & riveted to them. oh, & i gave them mimicry powers. & had them keep laughing. so that is what i had to throw out there. but shit, man. i can't front; panserbjorn beat the (armored) pants off my qora. did i mention they are talking bears? maybe that is assumed, but just so you know, like, all narnia has is a talking fucking jesus lion. iorek would slaughter that guy.