mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli
mordicai

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i don't really have any idea what is going to happen in make-believe today; it is going to be by ear in almost entirety. that is either a good sign or a dire one; probably the former to be honest. in gearing up to the climax, i don't want things to become a rail-roading, so i have to let them make their own way here & there. i've got a good group, for all they sometimes frustrate me, so it will be fine, as long as i stay on my toes. i'm looking forward to the white wolf swap over, when it comes; so much less math involved, you know? still plenty of kinks to work out in that regard, but it is nice to have a spark on the inky horizon. also, today is the day for gerd to get his wookie life day present, so that should put a positive spin on everything; that & mike getting 12 boxes of miniatures. that is a lot of tiny little fuckers with swords!

otherwise, i'm little more than a (tiny) square of black meteoric iron encased in a ribcage & covered with gunk. afloat on a raft of self-loathing this morning on the river styx. yawns are aches, crawling across the floor is only bearable by pretending i'm climbing the nostromo's bulkheads. jenny is some comfort, but she's got her own little world going on, recovering from last night, talking on the phone & watching the tudors or whatever that showtime show is called. so the spiders in the hump on my back burrow through into my lungs. they weave wings of silk & drag them up my throat like a navy seal hiding his parachute. i'm shedding arachnids all over the apartment, drifting lazily away, while all along the watch tower purrs my heart. a murmur. & then i find out that the wolf from narnia isn't really named fenris ulf, but is instead maugrim? man but i just figured the wolf that will eat the world was afoot. fucking clive staples. you're a PUNK. you arn't making anything better you!
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