mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli
mordicai

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there are many ways to recover from a fall.

does everybody besides me know already how disgusting southerners are? i mean, how really, truely, horrifically alien & gross they are? i was out at the bar-b-que that i go to after my play practice, yes? pravda had met up with me there & we whisked over there with some folks from the play. who then proceeded to get a half-gallon of honey & then pour it on their fried chicken. when i acted flaberghasted by this crime against nature, ravenface was all "cool your jets, flipper dipper! be cool, yank!" to which jenny shot out "they other day when i dipped my french fries in my milkshake, he was freaked out too!" & all the southerners crooned their reptilian laughter at me. "what a rube! hey rube, you know we put chedder cheese on our apple pie, too, right?" that was when i decided they were fucking with me. but they were not fucking with me! they were dead to rights honest. apple pie! as american as red, white & blue! that is some real confederate bullshit! looks like carpet bagging only half-way did the job; all that remains is some carpet bombing. damn, bill murray. then, trying to make me barf, the rebs were all "sometimes we take cornbread, crumble it up into a glass, pour in some buttermilk, & drink it!" which i told them wasn't really that gross, just a little bit sick because, well, buttermilk is a little bit sick. then i tried a bite of simon's chicken-&-honey & not only was it as putrid as i thought? but he smeared the honey all over my face. i guess it was pay-back when later jenny & i rolled 23s in bilgedice on our first fucking roll. bang-bang!

fordmadoxfraud & i just tag-teamed synthetic elements to list a bunch of transuranium elements. how fucking hot are we, ladies!?
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