the well is not dry. today so far i've seen the 24 hour long blossoming of the corpse flower at the brooklyn botanical gardens, then ate a burger. also, shaved. yesterday i finished on blue's waters, as well as watched webcasts of best night ever with jenny. then she got crazy & was mean, but apologised the next morning. what is up with my girlfriend thinking she is ugly? that is sofa king. the day before that i hung out with katja & jeffrey, & was unshaven. there might be pictures somewhere of me biting jeffrey? then i went home, because i was sleepy. insomnia catching up with me. most of the rest of the week has been that; drinking to out-race insomnia induced craziness. & lots of post-apocalyptic dreamscapes. whiskey & ammo in a boarded up college dorm, botulism & lycanthrope in a boarded up bungalo. i do things but i can't be sure i'm doing them. i'm a little to the right of real, lately. all full of overlap & indistinguishable from a real boy (more or less) but without the facaulties of judgement. normally i'm to the left, full of facaulties. doubt breeds either way i suppose. oh, & tuesday was play practice & then bar-b-que & then the abandoned swimming pool. i try to hold on as the merry-go-round go faster & much faster. so fast that we can no longer see the wolves running along side us.