mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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why do everything but live?

it wasn't unlike this summer night when he still stalked. you'd never see his flag flying, black & without sigul. you'd be at summer camp, or baby-sitting, or swishing back & forth on your water-bed (sworsh-schwarsh, it sang) & then it would creep upon you. you might have had your ear up to a glass at your sister's door listening to her lose her virginity, or been bleary eyed from southern comfort at your first drunk when it would strike you. maybe you were out of your mind of balloons filled with nitrous, or maybe you had stayed up all night listening to a dj with a hot voice on the local alternative radio station & were half crazed with insomnia. maybe you still have a crush on that foreign exchange student a little bit. you can fight against tommorow & you can fight against yesterday but i doubt you'd be surprised by how much it didn't matter. because you have to have figured it out by now. the space-gods have to have towered enough in your dreams by now. the angels in the walls have to have screamed the secrets at you by now. can you get with the program, or admit that you never will? because i'm sick of the program, but mostly i am sick of how lonely the program is.

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