mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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now i remember why i was so full of madness without cease

kid i'm such a mess. when there ain't you here to fight for, well then...what is worth fighting for? i mean,it ain't the end of the world. i think about the end of the world even when you are here, but when you arn't, i fall to pieces over it. & you tried to make me promise to take care of myself while you were gone. at this point i'm not sure which is more taking care, drinking till i pass out or letting the bad dreams come. i'll probably choose a middle-path, to attempt to meet what you would call a compromise. but there is no compromise to make with these sick-&-sour memories of how it used to be, of what i used to be. i spent today on the lonesome, belly out to our enemies. you are camping & i'm jealous anyhow. i think i'm going to go spectral. thinking i hate everyone. even more than before. not a surprise to those of you listening at home with your ovaltine decoder rings. i have strength, & i wish to use it against you. against all.

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