apparently theresa said that the reason i like danielle so much is because she has always liked me no matter what, without ever quitting. okay? loyalty? i'll put that in my piggy bank. & oh, i get it, girls. i get that you don't like her. i don't blame you. she's got a...thing going on. whatever it is. it is the source of our ill-fitting. but she isn't superficial like that. well, not superficial. philosophically unintresting, or whatever you want to call it. it is instead a weird moral hedonism. or hedonism for morality. or something like that. she just wants to feel good? to be happy? well, i've got nothing but disdain for THAT, but at least that is a ethos. while for her part, she can only call me a nihilist, & delusional. which i suppose could always be the case. but i like plan: secret angel agent better, myself. but yeah, she HAS always stuck by me. which, for the record, earns her about a billion trillion points. i uh, maybe have an abandonment complex. it takes us about four hours in each other's presences to figure out how to act around each other, but after that, it is all green lights. anyhow, she's got her weird chinese opera school thing going on, with the trapeze & the acting & whatever else. fencing? maybe. & her older guy in seattle. good for her. i'm sure its all a mess, but it is her mess. "i tried to sleep with this guy when erich & i broke up but i just broke down in tears instead." "gee, i wouldn't know anything about THAT craziness." &c. the thing i was mostly surprised by is how successful she's been at putting herself in a niche other than ex. 'cause i totally like that girl, in a non-creepy ex-girlfriend way. i'd hang out at her apartment. without it being weird. okay, okay, OKAY. it would be weird. but only 'cause i'm a big weirdo.