so this whole hanging out thing with pat is stretching my capacity to be a good boyfriend. a little bit of a couple of things. like, going for fucking walks in the park? which i doubt i could convince her to do anymore unless there was a comet or something? i don't know, just this "go out every night & have fun" gimmick gets old when you are excluded from it. which, of course she's made the "if you want me to invite you..." overture, & she's a nice girl (what with telling him i'd rip him to pieces periodically) but that is no fun for anyone. hey, i could come & make your reunion akward & shitty! hooray for mordicai! & maybe the real issue is that i figured her late night last night was the goodbye hurrah, while instead there are two whole nights of him left. tommorow, whatever, i have play practice & then i'll probably go out for a drink with simon, but tonight? i've got nothing going on, nor even a wiggle on the fishing line. i'll probably go home & write about dnd. not the worst waste of an evening, but still. i'll be bored with it by midnight, & she won't probably be home by then-- or if she is, she'll just be ready to hit the hay. stupid, annoying collision of orbits. jenny is in my god-damn solar system now, & you stupid boys hit her as nothing more than meteors, burning up like a moth on a speedy approach. oh well, i'll just resign myself to the slow torments of the drag. or come up with a brilliant plan & execute it flawlessly! of course, if i do go out, odds are that she'll stay in, & then we'll have a "i bought you this watch-chain/i bought you this comb" sort of scene. pardon me; "i bought you this holster/i bought you this grimoire," if'n you please. oh plus, she punched me in the face while i was drinking from a glass of water! screw jenny!
probably if i'd gotten laid in the past two days, i'd not mind as much. transparent!