mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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most people think unicorns were wiped out by the flood, but that is stupid. they were killed by cave men, right? & dukes & shit, like on that tapestry in the cloisters? but everyone knows that the real reason there are no more unicorns is that all girls are stupid, dirty whores. by which i mean that my girlfriend's ex is going to be in town, & she might get roped into hanging out with the ex that she cheated on me/left me for, if things go badly. whatever, i'm actually not sweating it as much as i thought. mostly i started feeling a lot better when i started sleeping with a meat cleaver under my pillow. it sings me the sweetest lullabyes...

& speaking of flooding, things have gotten mesopitamian like a mother-fucker here. the tigres turned the office into a nice little swamp of electroics & expired gift-certificates, while the euphrates sent the entire first aisle 20,000 leauges under, & deep six'ed into the second aisle for good measure. basically mad-dog & i spent the first two hours of the store minding the bilge. which, okay, the upside is that i get to use "bilge" a lot these days. practically nobody else gets to! & i'm getting salty, too, i think. the downside is that pumping the bilge fucking sucks.

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