mordicai caeli (mordicai) wrote,
mordicai caeli

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this world is not long for me.

a few weeks ago i though, "maybe i have to labor one billion years upon this world." it was me trying to think that maybe the revolutions around this star were worth a god-damn, or that even numbers might factor in. but i mean. the real reason was because i forgot, for a minute, that it takes 1,000 millions to make a billion. 65 million is such a small number. i hate looking at it & thinking about just what i'm doing. i will be the winner, i will be right. i will not flinch. there will be no need for any such bullshit. but fucking hell, it gets tough. having a big mouth helps. i can talk a good game, which is a pretty decent reinforcer. then on top of that, there is the whole girl. not like a net. really the opposite. she's the hand at the other end of the acrobat's bar. trapeze, they call it. & as much as i might hate on it, there are the dreams, & not to mention the waking ones. i'm winning! i won't be buried in the minutia. things are GOING. they can't help but. i mean, it is easy to loose track. that is the whole stratagy of team god, right? trip up with details? but he knew better, when laying out his cleaver. pick the dumb, simple knife. do i repeat myself? well alright. i repeat myself to me over & over again. my personality is a whetstone. just sharpening mordicai up.

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